It's Hot.

The pool is beckoning. The beach is too. I have a friend who's been bugging me to go to both. I have another friend who wants me to go shopping with her. For, like, clothes and stuff.

I seemed to have missed out on that fashion gene. Here's what is in my closet: old T shirts and yoga pants from Target. Those shirts and pants were great. I knew exactly where to find them in my local store. Didn't even have to try them on: I walked in, grabbed a shopping cart, wheeled back to the workout section and got my clothes. Blam.

Then  some  fool decided to change the material and sizing. Suddenly I was sporting the dreaded "camel toe" from the new Target pants, and the shirts weren't comfortable anymore. I realized that I was cut off from my clothing source.

Since then I haven't found a new place to shop. And my supply of clothes is dwindling. I'm really quite worried - those  shirts are developing holes, and the colors are getting a bit funky, and I know I have a reputation: Oh, look, here comes that woman in the old Target clothes.

That means that I really, really, really have to go and do clothes chopping. Which means: going out, and selecting clothes , and trying them on.  I have no idea what size I even wear anymore. I was an S in Target, but what does that mean? Does Macy's carry a Target S? No.

To the girlfriend who offered to  take  me shopping - thank you! You are the sweetest person ever! And I am so sorry that I cancelled the shopping date, for  this lame excuse: I have to set up for my daughter's birthdayy party.  Her reply was, "OK, I'll let you off the  hook this time, but - WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO WEAR TO THE PARTY?"

Quintspinner: A Review

Pirates and 18th century medical practices and press gangs may not seem to have a lot to do with each other, but Dianne Greenlay combines them beautifully in her book, Quintspinner. The novel, for teens and also for adults, is centered around the Spinner Rings, magical objects that can control different elements or aspects of reality.

Magical rings may seem fantastic, but Greenlay grounds the book with her thorough research. It is that attention to detail that hooked me from the start. In the first chapter, William is introduced. Later, he is caught by a press gang. These groups had  the objective of catching men (and boys) and forcing them into service in the Navy.  William's kidnapping and "pressing" into the Navy is described with a sure touch, and Greenlay adds details to give the reader a complete picture of life on a Naval ship, even describing how the boys and men went to the bathroom onboard.

Meanwhile, we are also introduced to Tess, the other main character. She is the daughter of a doctor, who is marked from birth with the sign of an acorn and five tears. This birthmark makes her strange or  "unclean," according to her father, and he forces her to hide it.

When she first appears, she is at the bedside of Elizabeth, her mother, helping the woman give birth. Again, Greenlay displays a great deal of knowledge on the subject, naming the medicines and the procedures that would have been used by a doctor in that period (and they are not for the faint of heart!)

Tess then witnesses a murder, and by doing so inherits the first of the Spinner rings. Later, she meets the murderer, who becomes her fiancee and mentor, teaching her how to use the Spinner rings to manipulate events. It's a wonderful twist, and one that Greenlay handles superbly.

More than that, Tess and William appear to be real. I truly wanted to know what happened to them, as well as to Cassie, (Tess's best friend,) Smith, (William's mentor,)  and a host  of other colorful characters. The quick pace and constant action made Quintspinner a compelling read - I sucked it up in one day on the beach.

I did have a few very minor quibbles - the  chapters are extremely short, which made reading a bit choppy,  and Elizabeth, Tess's mother, was  never really developed as a character. I thought that what happened to her could have been more touching if we had gotten to know her a bit better first.

But those are such minor details, and they do not take away from what is a very fine story from a very talented author. I do hope that Greenlay is writing another episode - and soon.

Top 10 Reasons NOT to Post My Junk on the Web

10. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit, and I am certain you did too.

9. I've got laundry to do.

8. When I go to a meeting of the PTO, I don't want the  first image in the minds of parents and principals and vice-principals to be THAT. Especially not the vice principal - she scares me.

7. I'm fifty. Get off my lawn.

6.  My camera started laughing hysterically and shut down by itself. Now it refuses to start up, even if I tempt it with cries of Pretty landscape! Squirrel! or - oh, lord, anything  I type here just suddenly sounds incredibly obscene.

5. Waxing? Hello??!! Let's just not even go there, okay?

4. I just decided to read all of War and Peace, in the  original Russian, instead.

3. ...plus, I hear that  phone books can be folded into cool seasonal figurines, if  you go page by page. Should only take me twenty hours!

2. Did I mention that I'm fifty?

1. I have heard a rumor  that  if you  do that - you know - that thing, then OTHER PEOPLE MAY SEE IT.  I know, crazy, but there it is.