At least it wasn't this:
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Monday, October 28, 2013
That Moment...
... when your kid who is obsessed with American Girl dolls puts them in little niches around the house and you realize it's really creepy.
At least it wasn't this:
At least it wasn't this:
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Halloween Stuff I Love, Sugar-Free Version
But I do love the month of October. For one thing, the weather is so beautiful. Except for today, of course; the sky is grouchily covered with clouds as if to say, "You writin' about ME?"
And I love the food associated with Halloween and October. Candy of course, but ever since I - I can hardly bear to say it - gave up sugar - that is out for me. No candy corn, no fun size, no pumpkin pie. I can still have pumpkin soup and pumpkin raviolis though, right? Right.
Here is a list of other Halloween and October stuff I love:
1. American Horror Story, season 2 - Season 1 was good, although I was disappointed in the Rubber Man story arc. But Season 2 looks like it could be seriously scary and horrifying, with an asylum, aliens, and nuns. SWEET! I'm not a horror movie fan, by which I mean: I scream like a tween at a 1 Direction concert and head my head and stuff. Still, I love horror books, and this series serves up enough thrills for my wuss self. Plus, I tape it and watch it at noon. Feel free to mock.
2. Retro H'ween stuff:
3. Buying costumes for my kid - Since the catalogues start coming out in August now, that's when Kid and I start shopping around. This year she is a Bride of Frankenstein, a cute, little girl version. I wanted the Eskimo Girl costume, (for her I mean) but maybe next year.
4. Seasonal Microbrews - I don't drink them myself but I vicariously enjoy it when the Husband pops open a spiced ale or an Oktoberfest. It just sounds so autumn-ish.
5. Cool nights - Apparently, along with the switch that turned off my metabolism, my body got kicked into super heat mode. Now I can sleep at night, since the room is chilly and I can snuggle under flannel sheets.
6. Horror books - Yep, I'm a fan. Here are a few I want to read:
7. Writing horror - I have an idea on the back burner that has been itching at me for a while now. I've got a really scary villain and a concept. As soon as I'm done with The South Sea Bubble, I'll let my first draft marinate and write my horror story. YESSSSSS
8. Bonfires.
9. Homemade soup. Chicken noodle, vegetable, carrot, cheese-ale - all good.
10. Beer bread.
11. Honey-Crisp Apples.
See? you can have fun without sugar at Halloween, and even during the entire month of October.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Spider!
Every year, around this time, the spiders come out of the woodwork or the webs, whatever it is. The babies hatch and scuttle around the steps and hidden corners. Momma arrives too, and as for Dad - I suppose he has already been eaten.
During my lifetime I have cultivated a tolerance of spiders. I know on some commonsense level that spiders are good things to have around. They destroy the bugs I seriously hate, such as mosquitos and ticks.
Although, I did find a butterfly and a ladybug in one web the other day - not cool.
Still, last night, when the LARGEST, FASTEST SPIDER IN THE WORLD emerged from some dark spot and ran across my kitchen floor ... well, let's just say there may have been shrieks, and leaps, and bashings of brooms.
I don't like it when they have what my mother used to describe as "muscles," see. A Daddy Long Legs is tolerable, but a tarantula? There are glutes involved there. No thank you oh so very much.
It all makes me think of an October morning, one year ago. I was out on the front lawn with the neighbors and my daughter, waiting for the bus. One of the kids pointed up and said, "Hey, cool Halloween decoration!"
I looked up and saw - now, I live in a tall house, and the thing was just under the roof - the living grandmother of all spiders ever born. This thing was huge. And it had a huge home. I'm talking handspan here.
Shall I bump it up another level? Brace yourselves - it also had and egg sac. Nay, TWO egg sacs.
Suddenly I received a vision: of hundreds of spiders just like that one, crawling all over the grounds. And in the house.
Did I say crawling? Allow me to self-edit. They would have been pounding around. There would have been audible footsteps involved.
So just maybe I cried, and perhaps I forced my husband up the long ladder to get Mrs. Arachnid and her young and fling them far, far away.
Yes, I can put up with spiders. I will capture most with a cup and a flat sheet of paper and release them out into the wild. However, I won't do that with the muscular ones that took steroids. No, sirree.
(BTW, I just read a fantastic blogpost from my friend, Johanna Garth, here. If you are a writer you can't miss this one.
During my lifetime I have cultivated a tolerance of spiders. I know on some commonsense level that spiders are good things to have around. They destroy the bugs I seriously hate, such as mosquitos and ticks.
Although, I did find a butterfly and a ladybug in one web the other day - not cool.
Still, last night, when the LARGEST, FASTEST SPIDER IN THE WORLD emerged from some dark spot and ran across my kitchen floor ... well, let's just say there may have been shrieks, and leaps, and bashings of brooms.
I don't like it when they have what my mother used to describe as "muscles," see. A Daddy Long Legs is tolerable, but a tarantula? There are glutes involved there. No thank you oh so very much.
It all makes me think of an October morning, one year ago. I was out on the front lawn with the neighbors and my daughter, waiting for the bus. One of the kids pointed up and said, "Hey, cool Halloween decoration!"
I looked up and saw - now, I live in a tall house, and the thing was just under the roof - the living grandmother of all spiders ever born. This thing was huge. And it had a huge home. I'm talking handspan here.
Shall I bump it up another level? Brace yourselves - it also had and egg sac. Nay, TWO egg sacs.
 |
| You're still awesome, though, Charlotte. |
Suddenly I received a vision: of hundreds of spiders just like that one, crawling all over the grounds. And in the house.
Did I say crawling? Allow me to self-edit. They would have been pounding around. There would have been audible footsteps involved.
So just maybe I cried, and perhaps I forced my husband up the long ladder to get Mrs. Arachnid and her young and fling them far, far away.
Yes, I can put up with spiders. I will capture most with a cup and a flat sheet of paper and release them out into the wild. However, I won't do that with the muscular ones that took steroids. No, sirree.
(BTW, I just read a fantastic blogpost from my friend, Johanna Garth, here. If you are a writer you can't miss this one.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Masquerade - BlogFlash 2012
Never been to a masquerade, but we used to go to my brother-in-law's Halloween parties every year. This was pre-kid, which meant we actually had time to make costumes.
One year my boyfriend (now my husband) and I decided to make Potato Head outfits. He would be Mister, and I was Missus.
We began with the actual potato part, which was really easy - just two large beige pieces of felt cut into potato shapes with holes for our heads and hands. Our legs stuck out the bottom.
We decided to make the face pieces removable, so you could actually play with the costumes. So that was the hard part. The nose was the most difficult, and we tackled that first: one styrofoam cone split in half lengthwise was the bridge, and a styro sphere split in half on either side were nostrils. We covered those with skin colored felt and added velcro to the back.
The lips for Missus were more styrofoam. I cut lip shapes out of a styro flat block and covered them with red felt. Mister just needed a mustache, so we glued fun fur to another flat block, cut in half lengthwise. More velcro went on the back.
The eyes were easy - we got four flat ovals and glued on felt shapes, in order: pupils, lids (missus's lids were blue with eyeshadow) and lashes for Missus. Mister needed two smaller versions of his mustache for eyebrows.
Boyfriend cut out ear shapes from another flat styro block and we glued pink felt. Velcro went along the side, and those were the most pain in the butt parts - the ears kept falling off. If I did it again, I'd make the ears flat to the body.
Meanwhile, the opposing strips of Velcro were glued to the felt bodies - the potatoes, as it were. Note how I never picked up a needle during this entire project?
We found two cheapo softie top hats. Missus's was pink; Mister's was black. I cut out holes for our faces and we put them on right over our heads.
Two pairs of large gardening gloves for our hands and largish shoes, and we were all set. Imagine the joy of all in attendance when they discovered they could PLAY with our costumes.
Damn straight we won the prize. Vive la Masquerade!
One year my boyfriend (now my husband) and I decided to make Potato Head outfits. He would be Mister, and I was Missus.
We began with the actual potato part, which was really easy - just two large beige pieces of felt cut into potato shapes with holes for our heads and hands. Our legs stuck out the bottom.
We decided to make the face pieces removable, so you could actually play with the costumes. So that was the hard part. The nose was the most difficult, and we tackled that first: one styrofoam cone split in half lengthwise was the bridge, and a styro sphere split in half on either side were nostrils. We covered those with skin colored felt and added velcro to the back.
The lips for Missus were more styrofoam. I cut lip shapes out of a styro flat block and covered them with red felt. Mister just needed a mustache, so we glued fun fur to another flat block, cut in half lengthwise. More velcro went on the back.
The eyes were easy - we got four flat ovals and glued on felt shapes, in order: pupils, lids (missus's lids were blue with eyeshadow) and lashes for Missus. Mister needed two smaller versions of his mustache for eyebrows.
Boyfriend cut out ear shapes from another flat styro block and we glued pink felt. Velcro went along the side, and those were the most pain in the butt parts - the ears kept falling off. If I did it again, I'd make the ears flat to the body.
Meanwhile, the opposing strips of Velcro were glued to the felt bodies - the potatoes, as it were. Note how I never picked up a needle during this entire project?
We found two cheapo softie top hats. Missus's was pink; Mister's was black. I cut out holes for our faces and we put them on right over our heads.
Two pairs of large gardening gloves for our hands and largish shoes, and we were all set. Imagine the joy of all in attendance when they discovered they could PLAY with our costumes.
Damn straight we won the prize. Vive la Masquerade!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Retro Halloween
Note: Today's blog was powered by fun-sized Almond Joy bars.
Ever seen that Catching Fireflies catalog? If you have far too much discretionary income, do check out their Halloween costumes. Here is my favorite:
Quite a bit different from the costumes I used to get. My mom would take my sister and me to the grocery store, where we had to decide between Spock:
and WitchiePoo:
The masks for Spock, Witchiepoo, Strawberry Shortcake, Thor, Fonzie, Skeletor, etc. had little nostril holes to breathe through. Yeah, those didn't work.
At least there weren't any Snooki wigs back then:
Nowadays, you can decorate your house with full sized electric chairs.
Quite different from our big 1970's splurge - cardboard cut outs, which we installed with fancy sticky tape:
You know what though? I pity modern kids. For us, trick-or-treating didn't start until after dark. the moon was up, bats were flying, and things were much more Halloween-ish in general. Now they go door to door in broad daylight. I understand it's all much safer, but where's the fun in that?
If you are looking for some retro fun for your kids, read them The Witch Family, by Eleanor Estes. There are witches, obviously, as well as mermaids, Easter bunnies, and a few humans. Good stuff.
Ever seen that Catching Fireflies catalog? If you have far too much discretionary income, do check out their Halloween costumes. Here is my favorite:
Quite a bit different from the costumes I used to get. My mom would take my sister and me to the grocery store, where we had to decide between Spock:
and WitchiePoo:
 |
| Note name on costume: only way to tell who the hell you dressed up as |
At least there weren't any Snooki wigs back then:
Nowadays, you can decorate your house with full sized electric chairs.
Quite different from our big 1970's splurge - cardboard cut outs, which we installed with fancy sticky tape:
 |
| You know some smarty pants wanted to add, "WHOO'S ready for Halloween?" |
You know what though? I pity modern kids. For us, trick-or-treating didn't start until after dark. the moon was up, bats were flying, and things were much more Halloween-ish in general. Now they go door to door in broad daylight. I understand it's all much safer, but where's the fun in that?
If you are looking for some retro fun for your kids, read them The Witch Family, by Eleanor Estes. There are witches, obviously, as well as mermaids, Easter bunnies, and a few humans. Good stuff.
 |
| This cover just screams retro. Find it and enjoy this undervalued gem! |
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Crowds and the Walking Dead
My husband wanted to go to the amusement park, which is right down the street. I had warnings from the local moms that it was a very busy time of the year to hit the rides. He didn't listen, holding his usual philosophy of "Oh, it'll be fine."
The reason for the crowds is that it is officially Fright Fest here in New Jersey. That means that as you wait in line for hours to go on a two minute ride, teens in ghoul makeup lurk, ready to terrify kids. The kids themselves (my daughter and her friend) are more than ready to be terrified.
"It's Fright Fest," I say.
"YAYYYYY!!!!!" is their response. "Can we walk through the graveyard?"
I tell them we can, after we get on the ride. An hour passes. We wait in line, and wait, and wait, and wait. The husband begins to see my point about Fright Fest.
The kids begin to get squirelly. They find different ways of endangering themselves on the bars that mark where the line goes. My husband and I chat with the people next to us in line, mainly about how much it stinks to wait in a line.
We finally, finally get to ride the ride. As we get into the car, one of the kids announces ... yes, that they have to pee. I tell them to hold it and we go through the ride.
We head to the bathroom. Shocker! Another line. More waiting, more chat about how lines suck.
Now it's time to head to the graveyard. The kids are really excited. As we get closer, though, my kid's friend starts to look thoughtful. She holds my hand in a killer death grip.
"Are you sure you want to go in?" I ask.
"Yeah!" they both yell.
We enter the graveyard, with the usual fake smog, organ music, and the walking dead (teens in green makeup.)
"Ouch," I say. The friend's grip is cutting off circulation.
The graveyard is packed too. Everyone wants to see the walking dead! I look around. More parents, whose hands are getting crushed by more kids who stood in line to see the graveyard.
Back to the car, parents singing a happy "We Are Going Home" tune. We wait in line to leave the park, having ridden on one ride, peed, and been crushed in a graveyard.
The kids fall asleep on the way home.
The reason for the crowds is that it is officially Fright Fest here in New Jersey. That means that as you wait in line for hours to go on a two minute ride, teens in ghoul makeup lurk, ready to terrify kids. The kids themselves (my daughter and her friend) are more than ready to be terrified.
"It's Fright Fest," I say.
"YAYYYYY!!!!!" is their response. "Can we walk through the graveyard?"
I tell them we can, after we get on the ride. An hour passes. We wait in line, and wait, and wait, and wait. The husband begins to see my point about Fright Fest.
The kids begin to get squirelly. They find different ways of endangering themselves on the bars that mark where the line goes. My husband and I chat with the people next to us in line, mainly about how much it stinks to wait in a line.
We finally, finally get to ride the ride. As we get into the car, one of the kids announces ... yes, that they have to pee. I tell them to hold it and we go through the ride.
We head to the bathroom. Shocker! Another line. More waiting, more chat about how lines suck.
Now it's time to head to the graveyard. The kids are really excited. As we get closer, though, my kid's friend starts to look thoughtful. She holds my hand in a killer death grip.
"Are you sure you want to go in?" I ask.
"Yeah!" they both yell.
We enter the graveyard, with the usual fake smog, organ music, and the walking dead (teens in green makeup.)
"Ouch," I say. The friend's grip is cutting off circulation.
The graveyard is packed too. Everyone wants to see the walking dead! I look around. More parents, whose hands are getting crushed by more kids who stood in line to see the graveyard.
Back to the car, parents singing a happy "We Are Going Home" tune. We wait in line to leave the park, having ridden on one ride, peed, and been crushed in a graveyard.
The kids fall asleep on the way home.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Halloween Candy
It's that time again. I have to go and get huge sacks of candy to hand out to kids in Monster High and Clone Wars costumes.
One year my husband handed out FULL SIZE candy bars. It was as though we had Johnny Depp, dressed as a pirate, standing at the door. Kids told other kids, and soon we had a mob scene.
I can't blame them, though. I still remember the feeling I got when a parent popped a full sized Hershey bar into my bag.
Then there's the bad Halloween candy. I'm talking to you, peanut "blossoms," Dots, boxes of raisins, pennies...
Again: Full sized Hershey's Bar!
When I was a kid (a LONG time ago) I used to get candy at Halloween that never appeared at any other time during the year. I'm talking wax lips and strips of sugar dots you gnawed off paper and rock candy. That was good stuff.
Those were the years before the warnings against homemade treats came out. Home made popcorn balls, fudge, and caramel apples... they just don't make them like that any more...
...but there is still that full size Hersey bar.
One year my husband handed out FULL SIZE candy bars. It was as though we had Johnny Depp, dressed as a pirate, standing at the door. Kids told other kids, and soon we had a mob scene.
 |
| "Here, kids, have a treat, and don't forget to pick up the litter afterwards." |
Then there's the bad Halloween candy. I'm talking to you, peanut "blossoms," Dots, boxes of raisins, pennies...
 |
| Not a fan. |
When I was a kid (a LONG time ago) I used to get candy at Halloween that never appeared at any other time during the year. I'm talking wax lips and strips of sugar dots you gnawed off paper and rock candy. That was good stuff.
 |
| What do you DO with these things? |
Those were the years before the warnings against homemade treats came out. Home made popcorn balls, fudge, and caramel apples... they just don't make them like that any more...
...but there is still that full size Hersey bar.
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