Friday, January 11, 2013

Back to the Eighties

Yesterday I wrote about 70's fashion trends that I actually wore. Today I'm talking 80's.

Apparently some of the stuff is coming back. Dude, I can deal with the neon colors and skinny ties, but here are some trends that should never return:

High hair - BIG hair is fine, and should be encouraged. But that flat spike of hair caused by Final Netting your bangs until they stand straight up needs to go to Trend Hell.
Gorgeous girl. Too bad about the fin on her forehead.
Men, I wouldn't be laughing too loudly at the blond above...

Three scrunchies worn on one topknot - buh bye.

Over-the-top make up.
Actually, this is sort of fun if you're 18. I take it back - have at it, girls.

Big shoulders, especially in those dresses that look like a suit and are actually a dress. What a crime against Nature.

The spiked heel / lace ankle sock combo -I wore this. Like, not for Halloween or anything. I should be taken out and flogged for that....
Just maybe I wore these with a fake leather skirt, or those super tight waist high acid-washed pants.
*runs away*

... and for my lace gloves, which I had in white, black, fingerless, and shoulder-length varieties. 
"Which gloves should I wear tonight?" 
"Let's see - how about NONE, since it is SUMMERTIME"
YES. Now my outfit is pulled together so I can go clubbing.

Short shorts for men. Sometimes in those neon colors. 
I sympathize - I can't believe you wore them either.

Designers, I"ll put up with your Fauxhawks, your strange aversion to sleeves, but if you hand me those gloves again, I swear to the Almighty that you will be pulling back a nub.


Unknown said...

SO, your an old bag like me, hmmm? My mullet was legendary, and forever memorialized in my high-school senior picture.
Just wanted to add: Stretch-pants are a priveledge, not a right.

Hilarious post. Sign me, hated the eighties.

Alison DeLuca said...

Yup, just an old bag here - certainly not wearing stretch pants anymore!

Hart Johnson said...

*giggles* My teen has cut some of her t-shirts and sweatshirts a la Flashdance. Man, I don't miss the days of curling every single hair on my head... I didn't ever have giant bangs, but my hair was STILL pretty big (and I tested the asymetrical with a tail thing). There was some really bad stuff, eh?

Connie J Jasperson said...

Okay - I confess - I did wear the Big Shoulder Suit Dress - it was mandatory corporate office attire.

I swear.

And My two older daughters were the Queens of High Hair, or as I used think of it, "Let's see if between us we can us an enire can of hairspray" hair.

Alison DeLuca said...

I did too, Connie. I was a poor teacher, and they were cheap - that's my excuse!

Rachel Tsoumbakos said...

Aah, the 80's. I have a photo of my hubby in a pale grey suit with a skinny tie and matching baby pink cummerbund. It goes so well with his mullet and white gloves....
Now don't even get me started on the ballroom dancing fashion of the 80s....URG!

Johanna Garth said...

LOL! I remember a girl I went to high school with who had wall hair. I think we referred to it that way because it stuck straight up as high as a wall!