Hurray, here it is again - the time for me to dig out the ol' suit. And despite my diet and exercise regime, my bod just isn't, shall we say, prime rib at the moment. So here are some suits that I shan't be wearing:
Nope.
Not today, nor any day
OK, this appeals to my macabre sense of fashion.
And NO ONE should be wearing this little marble bag.
Instead, here are the suits I would like to be able to buy and wear:
Yes! Maybe without the boots.
Yes yes!
Bathing caps - maybe not so much.
Don't you just hate it when the dog steals your pipe at the beach?
Perhaps the suspenders are a bit much. Still better than the marble bag, though.
None of these will get me on any show starring Howard Stern or Sharon Osbourne, but here are some things I'm good at:
I burst into flames on the beach, so I'm really good at applying self-tanner. Not to look tanned, you understand. Somewhat normal is my goal.
Self-tanner FAIL, poor dear.
I can create a dinner for my husband from the last of the Panko breadcrumbs, that one last chicken breast, and mayo. And rosemary; for crap's sake, don't forget the rosemary!
If a surprise guest will arrive in 30 minutes, I can create the illusion of cleanliness. Just don't open the door of the closet or the Dora Tent.
Love this thing. You can shovel a lot of stuff in here.
I can extricate myself from any conversation on politics.
I can spend 200 $ on groceries and realize as I pull into the driveway that I haven't actually bought anything to eat.
I can sit through the ninetieth showing of "Good Luck Charlie, It's Christmas!" and enjoy it.
I can also extricate myself from any volleyball pick up game ever.
Here are some things that I can't do:
I can't find my husband, The Great Disappearing Act, when breakfast is ready.
I can't make my kid throw away any of her stuffed animals. (Sweetie, one more round of gift giving and Daddy and I will have to sleep in the garage, ok?)
Nor can I organize my desk. My friend can move two things and all of a sudden everything is in order, but I just don't have that gene.
I cannot resist any dish made with black olives. Ditto mushrooms.
Oh yeah. Bring it on.
Breakfast is ready (Jersey blueberries, fresh cantaloupe, and waffles) and I have to go and shout in vain for my husband.
Please, in the interim, share some talents and challenges of your own!
Danielle Sibarium is the author of For Always, a popular YA romance novel. She's known for her great characters and authentic settings. So when I heard that her next book, Heart Waves, was set at the Jersey Shore, I was really excited to have her write a guest blog about her book and the beach. She also agreed to do a cover reveal, and here it is:
Beautiful!
Thank you so much Alison, for having me here today. It is both a pleasure and honor to be a guest on your blog!
There was always a part of me that loved the Jersey Shore. As a young child living in Brooklyn, nothing would fill me with more excitement than my father announcing we were going to spend the day at Seaside Heights. And it would be the entire day. We’d start our trek early, taking the forever long drive down the Garden State Parkway. Once we arrived, we spend the next hour or two searching for a parking spot. Okay, it wasn’t that long, but at eight, it felt like it.
We’d hit the beach, bake in the sun for a bit, cool off in the water, and then the fun would begin, at least my fun. After hours of anticipation we’d start to explore the boardwalk, rides, games, food; a never-ending world of awe and wonder. During my sweet sixteen party, my father told me he bought a summer house in Point Pleasant. No it wasn’t my birthday gift. And the house wasn’t a summer type of house. It was a beautiful house on the Inter Coastal Canal in a cosy year round neighborhood.
For the next decade my family and I shared special memories I will cherish for the rest of my life at my father’s house in Point Pleasant. Not just my immediate family, but my extended family and friends as well. We’d gather together, sometimes twenty or thirty of us, for the weekend. Ridiculous races with floats and noodles in the pool, volleyball games and evenings at the boardwalk only touch the surface of good times we shared. This was my favorite place to be. And just happens to be where Jenna Kingsley (the main character of Heart Waves) lives.
I never really thought about where Heart Waves would take place, it just naturally unfolded in my father’s community, looking out toward the Loveland Bridge. Many summer nights, I’d walk to the little community beach and talk to a friend while sitting on the swings. This became Jenna’s sanctuary. And how can I write a book about living here and leave out the most popular attraction of all, Jenkinson’s Boardwalk? One of the scenes I had the most fun writing was the boardwalk scene where Jenna unexpectedly is left alone and sees Reece with another girl.
For those of you who live in this part of New Jersey, I hope I’ve done justice to the wonderful community you embody. For those of you who don’t live here, I hope you get a taste of what it’s really like to live at the real Jersey Shore.
The pool is beckoning. The beach is too. I have a friend who's been bugging me to go to both. I have another friend who wants me to go shopping with her. For, like, clothes and stuff.
I seemed to have missed out on that fashion gene. Here's what is in my closet: old T shirts and yoga pants from Target. Those shirts and pants were great. I knew exactly where to find them in my local store. Didn't even have to try them on: I walked in, grabbed a shopping cart, wheeled back to the workout section and got my clothes. Blam.
Then some fool decided to change the material and sizing. Suddenly I was sporting the dreaded "camel toe" from the new Target pants, and the shirts weren't comfortable anymore. I realized that I was cut off from my clothing source.
Since then I haven't found a new place to shop. And my supply of clothes is dwindling. I'm really quite worried - those shirts are developing holes, and the colors are getting a bit funky, and I know I have a reputation: Oh, look, here comes that woman in the old Target clothes.
That means that I really, really, really have to go and do clothes chopping. Which means: going out, and selecting clothes , and trying them on. I have no idea what size I even wear anymore. I was an S in Target, but what does that mean? Does Macy's carry a Target S? No.
To the girlfriend who offered to take me shopping - thank you! You are the sweetest person ever! And I am so sorry that I cancelled the shopping date, for this lame excuse: I have to set up for my daughter's birthdayy party. Her reply was, "OK, I'll let you off the hook this time, but - WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO WEAR TO THE PARTY?"
CONTEST ALERT! Dianne Greenlay will be giving away a Quintspinner T shirt and a $10 Amazon gift card to one randomly drawn commenter during the blog tour.
***
I spent Memorial Day on the beach in New Jersey, watching my daughter build sandcastles while I read Quintspinner. It was the perfect book for the beach, since it centered on a nautical theme and setting, and it was really well written and researched. (In fact, Quintspinner was just awarded Honorable Mention for Best Beach Read at the Beach Book Festival, so there you are.)
The main character in the book is a daughter of a doctor in the 18th century. Dianne Greenlay, the author, knows quite a bit about her subject, since she is a physiotherapist and an EMT. She lives on the Canadian prairies with her husband and what she calls “a consortium of cats.”
I was lucky enough to be able to interview Dianne about her book and her writing in general. What she had to say about the book was just as interesting as the book itself. If you would like to learn more about Ms Greenlay, you can check out her website and her blog. She is also on Facebook.
1. Quintspinner is about Tess, a 18th century doctor's daughter whose life changes suddenly. Did your background as an EMT help you write the book? Having a medical background as an EMT and as a sole charge physiotherapist certainly was useful. Because of this occupational combination, I have a lot of knowledge and experience in both acute and rehab medicine and I have been an observer in the O.R. and have seen many procedures such as amputations and cardiac surgeries first hand. However, I had to research 18th century medicine to see what techniques they used, and to find out what level of knowledge they had with regards to disease and treatments. Some of their techniques were downright brutal.
2. There are many twists to the plot of Quintspinner, including the prophetic spinner ring. Can you explain the significance of this object to the novel? Spinner rings are based on ancient Tibetan prayer wheels and rattles, whose spinning movements were thought to enhance a user's prayers or manifestation techniques, enabling healing and prophesy gifts to occur. Today, spinner rings are found throughout the tropical areas as tourist-y items, and they are also sold in North American stores. Sometimes they are called motion rings, and sometimes they are referred to as worry rings, meant to reduce the wearer's stress levels. As QUINTSPINNER is set in the age and world of pirates, which had an astounding amount of treasure - jewels, furs, precious metals, and spices - and since the sailors back then were a very superstitious bunch, I was inspired to include a spinner ring as a subtle reason for Tess to be endangered. The presence of a spinner ring and its supposed power is there, but in a way that neither the reader nor the characters are sure of whether to believe in it or not.
The number "five" was, and still is considered to be a powerful number by numerologists - There were five oceans, continents, senses, planets visible to the naked eye - so I chose it to be the number of spinner rings. "Quint" had a better ring to it than "five". (No pun intended!)
3. Which readers would love this book? An editor that I worked with suggested that I drop Tess's age to 16 to capture both the YA and adult audiences. This seems to have worked very well as QUINTSPINNER has won awards in both historical and YA categories. Although I had assumed the readership would be female upper YA and adults, it is an adventure story, and quite descriptive in the lifestyle back then, and so it also appeals to male readers.
4. What was your favorite scene to write?
I had two favorite scenes. The first was the pirate attack on the ship. As I was writing, I was literally hearing the cannons roar, the men scream, the masts crashing down, and I swear I could smell the smoke in the air. (Turns out it was the neighbors' barbeque...)
The second scene was the one of the hurricane. Again I was totally immersed in the tons of cold sea water crashing down on the decks and the burn of its salt in my characters' eyes, the winds tearing at their hair and clothes, the ship tilting in a sickening slide. I think I was playing Dvorak's New World Symphony in the background as I wrote that scene.
5. This book is set in "The Gold Age of Piracy." Are most of the characters pirates?
(Spoiler Alert!) Only one of the main characters is a pirate, and this is not revealed until the story is quite underway. The other, more obvious pirates are encountered when the ship is attacked and overtaken by the pirate ship, The Bloodhorn. At this point, the pirate captain takes a rather large role for a good portion of the book. Because pirates have a universal appeal to all ages, my book launch party was pirate themed. Many audience members came in costume, we served grog and hard tack goodies, and a scene from the book was acted out by a local theatre group. It really brought QUINTSPINNER to life!
You can watch the book trailer for Quintspinner here:
Dianne is available for interviews and guest blogs.
