Oh, Sugar

For Lent this year I gave up sugar (hey, it was either that or wine.) For six weeks, I ate nothing but sugar in its natural forms, so oranges and melon slices were dessert. 

It's not as fun as it sounds. Sugar is an addiction, I found - at night, after dinner, I fantasized about chocolate, ice cream, and even just a Murray's Mint. Glumly, I went to peel myself another clementine instead.

At other houses I was offered cake, brownies, cookies... and I had to politely decline. That was hard, especially when other guests grabbed the goodies and dug in, uttering cries of enjoyment.

And the most cruel thing? None of this dreadful deprivation changed my waistline. My scales stubbornly remained on the same number, even though I was foregoing dessert and exercising every day; thank you very much, post-menopausal hormones.

At the same time, in order to really scourge the flesh, I gave up computer games. I'm not a big gamer by any means - no WoW, no Assassin's Creed - but I do enjoy a quick turn at solitaire and Hidden Object mindless nonsense after a long day of writing, editing, and being a mom.

The six weeks passed, and on Easter I joyfully indulged in peeps and Malteaser bunnies. That night, I played some silly games before I went to bed.

And then the insomnia kicked in.

Somehow, so subtly that I hadn't noticed it, my sleeping patterns had smoothed out during the sugar- and game-free time. I was sleeping at least eight hours a night.

That changed as soon as I put sugar and a glowing screen back in the mix. Sleeplessness came back, with the jolting memory of what it was like to wake up at 3 am and not be able to go back to sleep.

It continued until yesterday, when I decided to give up sugar and night gaming again. And guess what? I slept sweetly for nine hours. 

I can still see Thornton's chocolates in my future, but perhaps only once a week. Friday could be my sweet night. My games will have to move to the middle of the day, if I play at all; my nighttime companion will be a book - in print.

That Certain Age

Once upon a time, there was a girl who could keep her belly flat and her skin fresh by eating whatever she wanted - mint chocolate chip icecream, cheeseburger, fries, chips - and going out to the clubs til 2 to dance it all off. 

Yeah, that girl doesn't exist anymore. 

She's been replaced by me - a woman of a "certain age" who only has to look at food, apparently, and calories leach into my skin. Sand bags seem to have been sewn onto my thighs and butt at some point. I am itchy, cranky, grumpy, and sleepy - a veritable compendium of the worst of the dwarves. 

As I battle age and the mirror, I'm most annoyed by myself. I LIKE the idea of age. I think wrinkles are marks of experience, and gray hair is lovely, like strands of silver. I just didn't bargain for the fuzzy feeling in my brain that stops my thought processes, nor the gradual slipping away of things that I used to do without thinking.

OK, we can't all be Jamie Lee, but I do love her hair.

Example: water skiing. When my husband taught me to waterski, years ago, I loved it right away. I was able to stand right up on the skis and jet around the lake on my first go. It wasn't pretty, but it did happen. This past summer, I went to try waterskiing again. Holy incompetent arm muscles! That awkward moment when the handle slips from your grip again and again and the boat has to circle back a gabillion times to pick up the old lady in the water...

Here are a few things that I've done to combat all of this:

1. Embraced my wrinkles. I really don't mind them at all. 

2. Started taking iodine supplements, which have erased the fuzzy feeling in my brain and made my husband quite happy. (And, no, I'm not adding more details for that last point.) Do check with your doctor if you start taking any supplements, but mine - I take natural Gaia thyroid support as well as iodine and seaweed - have seriously changed my life.

3. Taken up weightlifting. I always worked out with weights, but I've added pounds to what I used to lift to compensate for disappearing muscle. I WILL get up on those skis next summer.

4. Given up sugar. It was an easy way to modify my diet. Sugar is a serious addiction, but when you replace it with fresh fruit and agave, it's not so bad. Oh, all right - Halloween sucked. Ok? Ok. And I'm not looking forward to Christmas Cookie season. Goodbye for ever, homemade pizzelles.

Buh Bye.

5. Doubled my workout time. I do work while I'm on the treadmill, so it doesn't eat into my productivity.

6. Started eating a lot more raw greens. A LOT more. And I don't drown them in processed dressing, either. Goodbye, Ranch and Blue Cheese. (PS - Olive Oil makers, if you put EVOO in little takeaway packets like ketchup, that would really come in handy. Just saying.)

7. Eyed the frozen mini hotdogs and tacos wistfully as I pass them by with my cart. Edamame is a somewhat / not really / ok they're good but they're not mini hot dogs, now are they sort of substitute.

8. Replaced my large, frozen drink cocktails with ultra Lite beer, white wine, Skinny girl margaritas (love them) and, at times, green tea. Cut down on all of the above (except the tea) to one or two a weekend. Yes, this has been a very important point for me. 

While I'm grousing and carrying on, I must point out that age has brought some very good things into my life:

1. A fantastic family

2. Friends who are settled in their own lives, and we can all be settled together

3. No more of those exhausting dating issues

4. My writing career

5. Peace with myself and my world in general.