Wednesday, May 1, 2013

In A Perfect World...

... I would be very efficient at filing things like receipts. I hate receipts.

... all my photos and news clippings* would be organized and popped into fancy albums with decorative borders. Scrapbooks, I guess they are called. Yes, I would be a scrapbooker.

... the gradual but merciless takeover of my kitchen cabinets by fast food toys, glitter, sidewalk chalk, and Barbie clothes would never have occurred.

... my hair would act more like hair and less like straggly seaweed.

... that one bite** of shrimp pasta that I just couldn't resist last night as I stowed the leftovers in Tupperware would not have gone straight to my waistline.

... my kid wouldn't beg to join the soccer team, only to have a meltdown when the soccer season actually is upon us.

... I would read more Dostoyevsky and less David Wang. Wait, no - that's not true. I'd keep the Wang.

... my freezer wouldn't be the kind you actually still have to defrost. With pans of boiling water and stuff. It's retro!
Good times, good times.
image courtesy

... my husband and I would have the same sleeping temp preferences, not glacial (mine) versus tropical (his.) I'm menopausal, deal with it.

... my friends and I would hold our weekly coffee meetings each week, instead of once a year.

... I would actually SEND the Easter card to my nephew after signing, addressing, and stamping it, instead of filing it for next year, since it is May already.

... I would watch more MacNeil/Lehrer and less Fringe. Wait - that's not true either. I'd keep the Fringe.

*by "news clippings" I mean the one article published about me as a writer

**by "one bite" I mean several very large mouthfuls. Okay, maybe a small plate's worth.


Johanna Garth said...

You need to have coffee with your friend's once a week! I have it with mine every Saturday and it keeps me sane and whole!

Lori said...

I can remember defrosting those old refrigerators. Love this list and I can agree with most of it!