Best Friends

Is there anything so fragile and so strong as friendship? I have seen people who are dear friends lose their bond, their connection, over a few ill-judged words. But I have also seen friendships survive great illness and tragedy.

Over the weekend, my daughter invited her best friend on a family trip to the beach. We drove the girls to the house, where we all shared a room and two tiny, hard beds. 

There was no access to TV all weekend. The girls had one single iPod they would have to share, as well as their dolls. Other than that, they had sand and stones as entertainment devices.

And - they were beautiful together. My husband gave them wheelbarrow rides (the hit of the weekeend) and dug them a hole at the beach. We watched as a wheelbarrow became a roller coaster and a hole in the sand turned into a castle with secret passages and huge throne rooms. 

The girls did kid stuff we adults simply couldn't understand - they insisted, for example, on draping all the available clothes over their blankets on the bed to sleep. I can't imagine having a ton of sweatshirts over me at night, but they seemed to enjoy it pretty well.

And why did they have to wear matching hats and glasses as they played that one iPod together? We may never know.

All of those experiences - swimming in ice-cold water in a rockpool, going to the local carnival and eating real cotton candy "on a stick!" and hot dogs, watching the tiny town's memorial Day parade - those shared experiences are the slim, glowing threads weaving together to form the basis of a lifelong friendship.

And whether it will be strong enough to last for years and years - no one can answer that question.

But the odds look good.

Ode to Friendship

My daughter's best friend came over a few times this weekend. Kid has quite a few besties, but this one is The One. The BFFE. (or BFFL, or whatever it is.)

Art by Sinful Eyes

My kid and her best friend met each other when they were three years old. Since then they've gone to different schools, made other friends, and headed on different activity paths (dance versus acting) but they remain seriously tight.

They just get each other. They've had scraps and butted heads, but in the end when my daughter has had a bad day, there's only one person she wants to call and talk to about it.

You can't buy that. My kid, whether she knows it or not, has won the lottery. She scored the huge prize. She is set for life.

I've got quite a few wonderful friends myself. I've got my cousin, who was my first bestie, as well as the dance school friend, my sister - first my frenemy, now nothin but love for her - my high school friend, who designs my book covers, as well as other wonderful pals, both male and female, who have stayed in touch over the years.

I learned very early on that there is nothing more important than that. Even when I was caught up in affairs of the heart and OH MY GOD I THINK HE IS GOING TO ASK ME OUT - all of it meant very little, really, without a long phone call to chat about it all. Later on the chats were held over drinks, and sometimes we held each other's hair. 

My kid and her friend, I fervently hope, will go through the same thing, maybe without too much of the hair holding part. They'll text each other and drive over to each other's house. They'll have marathon phone convos and give advice. They'll go shopping and head out for Girl's Weekends. 

Image courtesy of Boston.com

Their friendship will deepen and mature, to the point where they'll just have to look at each other and know what the other one is thinking.

And at some point, someone will ask, "So, how do you two know each other, anyway?" And one of them can answer that they've been friends since they were three years old. 

And someone will say, "Hey! That's pretty cool!" 

And someone will be right.