Crockpot, Teach Me Your Ways

Here I go again with another crockpot recipe. I've tried several and I always end up with a unicolored stew; it tastes alright the first night but once it goes in a Tupperware the party is over. Some of my past failures have been:

Image courtesy of flickr

Feijoada
Black beans and rice
Cheese and ale soup
Pot roast

Etc.

But this time is going to be different, I say as I go to the store, load up on unlikely ingredients and cast them all into my cauldron. Maybe that's the problem - probably I need to dress up as Hermione and find Bezoars and junk like that. Or I need to Snape to oversee the process. Yes, that's it; I need Snape as a sort of magical Gordon Ramsey to yell at me while I brown the meats. 

Because, you see, I love the idea of crockpots. Everything goes in, like the Sneetches, to the pot around 9 am. Six hours later, the house smells heavenly and Accio Dinner. Take that, Polar Vortex!

Not how it turns out, however. The Feijoada was a pain to put together, and during the process there was a strange smell as the ingredients combined. With enough wine we were able to eat the stuff, but the leftovers (and there were plenty) went into the trash.

No, my crockpot is more of a warming device than a cooking device, as anyone who has had my sausage and peppers can tell you. Roast those sausages, sauté the onions and peppers, and throw it all in with plenty of EVOO and Frank's Hot Sauce. Add rolls from a real Italian bakery and some football = culinary heaven.

Image courtesy of flickr

But see, that's not really cooking. It's more cut and paste or combining some ingredients. I want to have casseroles! Soups! Other warm stuff I can't think of right now!

Okay, I'm going to try it again this weekend with this chicken recipe, courtesy of southernfood.com. I like it because it's all fresh ingredients without processed stuff. Cross your fingers it makes it past the Tupperware stage.

Chicken and Broccoli Casserole Recipe, Slow Cooker

By Diana Rattray

 This chicken and broccoli casserole is easy to prepare and cook in the slow cooker. A homemade creamy sauce completes this tasty casserole. It makes a terrific meal with rice or noodles.

Yield: Serves 4 to 6

Ingredients:

· 4 c. cubed cooked chicken or turkey

· 1 (4 oz.) can sliced mushrooms, drained, or use fresh mushrooms

· 1 (5 oz.) can sliced water chestnuts (I'm going to leave those out, but that's just me.)

· 1 (10 to 12 oz.) pkg. frozen chopped broccoli, about 1 1/2 to 2 cups

· 1/2 cup chopped onion

· 1 cup Sauce (below)

· Paprika

· .

· Sauce:

· 1/4 c. butter

· 1/4 c. flour

· 1/2 tsp. salt

· 1/4 tsp. pepper

· 1 c. chicken broth

· 1/2 cup evaporated milk

· 2 tbsp. cooking sherry

Preparation:

Spread half the chicken in the slow cooker or Crock Pot. Top with the mushrooms, water chestnuts, onion and broccoli. Arrange remaining chicken on top. Cover with sauce (directions below). Sprinkle with paprika. Cover and cook on low for 4 to 6 hours or high for 2 to 3 hours, or until chicken is thoroughly cooked.

Sauce Instructions: Melt butter in medium saucepan over low heat. Blend in flour, salt, and pepper. Cook over low heat, stirring until mixture is smooth and bubbly. Remove from heat. Stir in broth and milk. Heat to boiling, stirring constantly. Boil and stir 1 minute. Remove from heat; stir in wine. Makes about 2 cups.

I'll let you know how this turns out; meanwhile, if any lovely readers have great crockpot recipes to share, please let me know and I'll put them up as well. 

Redemption

SPOILER ALERT - If you haven't finished Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings do not, I beg, read this blogpost. Be off with you to the library or bookstore and check out both series.

Yesterday, I wrote about Karma and how the idea of Nemesis must exist, internally at least. Later, one comment on the blogpost really grabbed my attention. A friend wrote that once someone does evil, and does it again, the internal guilt eases until the dark deeds are seen as "normal" by that person.

She's right, and it erases my neat metaphor of an interior angry goddess. However, I do wonder about the dreams of the people who live with dark deeds, as well as their lives. If someone is truly evil, truly in the dark side - can anything be satisfactory? Love, life, family, relationships? Do they have friends?

Oh, the fascination of villains. 

My sister, whose intellect I greatly admire, once told me that in her opinion a great book offers redemption for the villain. As an example, in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Gollum (that strange, brilliant character) is redeemed by one act at the very end, thus saving Frodo from soulless eternity. 

Another example is Snape, although that dude is seriously complex. I wonder as an author, if he developed himself on the page, or if JK suddenly had one of the concept flashes, the kind that hit just as you get into bed and you haven't any paper handy. (Although, of course,   he isn't a villain at all.)

Redemption for the villain ... it's a tricky concept. It has to be organic and come from within (thus bypassing the interior angry goddess) or from a series of events that evolve naturally, like a Bach concerto or the inside of a seashell. The writer has to seriously Fibonacci sequence it. 

If redemption is handed out with a Deus ex Machina fanfare, the gloriously evil villain is compressed into a cardboard cutout. No, redemption itself must come, like karma, from within.

A final word on villains - as I was writing this post, my sister and some of our friends from high school were facebook chatting about a murderer. 

The murderer didn't seem to be evil, so much as STUPID. Her act of violence and terror came from being so dumb that she couldn't comprehend that it would change her life (and, most sad of all, the lives of her kids) forever. 

That is real life, not fiction, and it brings me back to the concept of karma. Probably that sad little murderer will never even understand the depths of what she has done. But will she ever feel soaring happiness of motherhood, the solid comfort of an enduring marriage, or the quiet triumphs that come with ordinary life? 

Of course, all of that is pretty impossible behind bars. But the prison I wonder about is the one in her own mind.

Harry Potter and the Ballroom Scandal

 My sister and I came up with some scenes  from Harry Potter, if the series had been written by other authors instead of by the incredible JK Rowling. Can you identify the author or genre? And - I'll bet you can do better than we did. Post your efforts in my comment section. Can't wait to read them!

Lord Voldemort stroked the silk of Hermione's gown.  "Such a young lady to attend a ball all alone," he breathed in her ear.

She drew back, incensed.  "Lord Valdemort! How dare you! " she said, twitching her gown from his grasp.

Some yards away, Sir Weasely put down his glass of firewhiskey.  Languidly crossing to where Lord Voldemort stood, he picked up his lorgnette and gave the bald duke a long stare through his glass.  Finally he allowed it to drop.  "Your servant,Voldy," he murmured.  "Can't say I like your waistcoat.  Ah, Miss Granger, I believe you promised me this dance?" 

Putting one arm around her waist, he swept her away onto the dance floor.

*****

Hermione was struggling to make her way out of Diagon Alley with her shopping. She had found the one gem of the season, the Bill Blass Hogwarts robe, made every year with simple but flattering lines. It had cost her a month's wages but it would be worth it to see Ron's face when he caught her wearing it!

As she stepped onto the busy London sidewalk a limousine pulled up and a familiar silhouette leaned out of the back window.

"Victor!" she cried in surprise and shock.

*****

 Ginny began exclaiming, "Hermione, your hair!  Who put a spell on it? McGonagall?  I must dash.  And your robes!  And your eyelashes!  Oh, it is unfair, you are so lucky to be you."

*****

Harry was walking to class when he heard Professor Trelawney call out behind him, "Oh, em, em, Mr., eh..."

Harry made his Caught By A Death Eater Cruciatus Curse face, curling over his stomach and popping out his eyeballs and tongue, before turning around to face her. "Good morning, professor," he said in way he hoped sounded pleasant.

*****

Hermione shouted and hit out at Ron as Scabbers crawled up her leg.  "You know I hate your beastly pets!" she yelled.

Meanwhile, Harry sat munching his Choco Frog, looking at Hogwarts in the distance.  "I always think food tastes so much nicer outdoors," he thought.

****

I leaned back, propped my feet up on my desk, and sighed. Last night at the Three Cauldrons had left me with an ache in my head and a stomach that churned like a grindylow in a muggle's washing machine.

That's when she walked in. Tall drink of water with blond hair and radishes for earrings. "Name's Lovegood. Word around town says you can help a dame in distress," she breathed.

"Word around town doesn't mean anything, dollface," I replied. "We are out of business."

She reached in her purse and pulled out an object I never thought to see again. A Timeturner.

I put my feet on the ground and reached for it. "Not so fast," she cooed. "Are you going to help me?"

"Name your potion," I said. "Snapes' Detective Agency just reopened."