You know those reality programs where everyone on the show is shown to their new luxury suite? There's a lot of heavy ooh-ing and aah-ing as the models or batchelorettes take in the stripper pole, the hot tub, the fireplace, the wet bar...
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| Ooh, a dining room table! |
I don't know. I mean, it's all the same, really, isn't it?
I want to see a luxury suite with a working time machine. Now that would be new and different.
Or a real railway that circled the rooms, so I could ride from place to place in my suite.
Also a transporter, duh.
Take out the flatscreen in every room, it just seems weird to watch the news in the toilet, and replace it with a working Smellovision.
Also, I'd like dress-up closets everywhere, complete with Renaissance outfits. And armor for the lads.
I want a trampoline room, a bubble room, and a zero grav room. (I guess I really want Tom Hanks's apartment in Big.)
Be off with your silly mini bar! And wheel in the Dr. Pepper fountain, please.
To go with, we'll need a cotton candy machine, a butterfly fries dispenser, hot air popper, and one of those rolly hot dog makers. I like carnival food, so judge me.
Need I say it? An entire wall of books, with comfy reading chairs.
Bowling Lanes are so 2011; my hotel luxury suite comes with an ice rink and a ski slope.
The turn down service should be preformed by Neo, or Katniss.
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| "Would madam prefer a mint?" |
Dr. Who shows on a continuous feed, so I can finally watch those bad boys. I think I'm missing out.
And, when I get tired, The Avengers can come in and give massages to me and my entourage.
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| "We'll start with some deep-tissue, to really relax your muscles...." |
That should do it. Maybe even Teresa would refrain from flipping tables with those amenities.
