It’s Raining Cats & Dogs Tour : "Cat Club"

I'm ecstatic to welcome back the very creative and funny author, David Brown, to Fresh Pot of Tea. We're featuring an excerpt from his book Man vs Cat today.

And don't forget to enter the Amazon gift card giveaway after the excerpt! Entry is easy and quick.

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Cat Club

1) The first rule of Cat Club is you do not talk about Cat Club, not even to your mothers and especially not to your owners!

2) The second rule of Cat Club is the same as the above, but I’ve put it in because they do so in the film and this parody won’t work as well if I don’t do it.

3) The third rule of Cat Club is that it is a club exclusive to cats. I wouldn’t normally have to include this rule, but a Saint Bernard came to last week’s meeting believing some makeshift whiskers made out of straws and stuck on with Post-it notes would be enough to slip through our security. Sadly, it did, but we’ll be more vigilant next time! Buggles will not be in charge of admissions to Cat Club in future.

4) The fourth rule of Cat Club is one cat to a litter tray at a time. We have standards to keep here, gentlecats.

5) The fifth rule of Cat Club is if someone dangles a toy on the end of a string, I get first dibs on swatting it. The rest of you can form an orderly queue and wait your turn. If you refrain from swatting the toy, this isn’t the club for you.

6) The sixth rule of Cat Club is you do not pose for cute, exploitative pictures to be distributed on the Internet. We are supposed to be tough, remember?

7) The seventh rule of Cat Club is you leave the awful cat jokes outside. We have no time for them in here.

8) The eighth rule of Cat Club is we each bring a tin of tuna to these meetings.

9) The ninth rule of Cat Club is if someone can remember to bring a tin opener to the next meeting that would be great. The last one turned out to be a bit anti-climatic. Not even the Saint Bernard knew how to open a tin and they’re renowned for saving lives.

10) The tenth rule of Cat Club is you do not ask what the purpose of Cat Club is. If I don’t know then the rest of you have no chance.

11) The final rule of Cat Club is that if this is your first time at Cat Club, you’ll be sorry you ever joined.

Mr B: This list was found in the DVD case for Fight Club. I’m not aware of any Cat Club meetings being held in our house, but, given that Mrs B and I are not always here, I cannot be certain of this!

In the film, Fight Club was the beginning and was soon followed by Project Mayhem. Again, I have uncovered no evidence of such a calamity from the cats, but if I do, you can be rest assured that the relevant authorities will be notified.

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ENTER THE GIVEAWAY!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Synopsis

History has known many famous cats - Garfield, Mr Bigglesworth, Simon's Cat, the Aristocats, the Cheshire cat and the Keyboard Cat on YouTube.

In recent years these feline things have replaced man's best friend as the most popular pet in the U.S. while the Ancient Egyptians once worshipped them as gods. This was a mistake and I'm here to tell you why.

Man vs Cat is the story of one man, one woman and the six cats that changed their lives forever. To the woman they brought love and affection, to the man they brought sleepless nights, fear, paranoia and even ruined his jigsaw. Need I say more?

You can buy Man vs Cat on Amazon US and on Amazon UK

and add it to your list on Goodreads

About the author

David Brown could be considered a fantasy fanatic, especially since he has spent the last 10 years developing a 47,000-year history for his fictional world of Elenchera. When converting his obsession into literary form, David commits himself to a rigorous writing and editing process before his work can meet his approval. Combined with the critical eye of his wife and a BA Hons in History and English, David's dedication leads him to his goal of inspiring readers through heartfelt stories and characters.

You can follow David here:

Twitter: @elenchera

Facebook: davidmbrownauthor

Website: http://elenchera.com

Blog: http://tweedling.com

Man vs Cat

Hurray! David Brown is coming back to my blog on February 2nd with a  guest post. This is a preview of his book, Man vs Cat, along with a chance to win some goodies. Swag, y'all!

You can find Man vs Cat here:




"History has known many famous cats - Garfield, Mr Bigglesworth, Simon's Cat, the Aristocats, the Cheshire cat and the Keyboard Cat on YouTube.

In recent years these feline things have replaced man's best friend as the most popular pet in the U.S. while the Ancient Egyptians once worshipped them as gods. This was a mistake and I'm here to tell you why.

Man vs Cat is the story of one man, one woman and the six cats that changed their lives forever. To the woman they brought love and affection, to the man they brought sleepless nights, fear, paranoia and even ruined his jigsaw. Need I say more?"
Enter the raffle here:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

And do come back on February 2nd to read David's funny post. He makes me laugh weekly on Facebook about his daily life with his wife and six cats, so I'm really looking forward to the post and the book.

A World Apart: by David Brown

A World Apart (also available in the UK and on Smashwords) is touring today. The author, my friend David Brown, is offering a 25$ Amazon gift card to one random commenter during the tour, so please leave your email with a comment.

The Story:

Demetrius makes his first mistake when he lets his best friend Halcyon marry Eleyna, the love of his life, without saying a word. On the day of the wedding, he walks away from the Elencheran town of Dove's Meadow and joins the army.

He makes his second mistake when the pirate Black Iris tricks him into letting dozens of men, women and children die in a fire. Demetrius is imprisoned in grief and disgrace.

But he can atone. The Black Iris is dead. The Ivory Rose has risen to the top of the pirates and is leading brutal raids on the coast. If Demetrius can capture and kill her, he'll win his pardon.

And then Demetrius discovers the Ivory Rose is Eleyna. He must decide which will be his third mistake: losing his last chance at a pardon or destroying the one woman he's ever loved.

EXCERPT: The Edge of the World

Pockets of swirling magic dust rose from the surface of the pink and violet water as it came into contact with the white beam that formed the perimeter of all Elenchera. The beam was not a perfect circle around the world, or a straight line, but led a jagged and uneven course, creating four distinct edges from four heavily defined promontories.

The west edge of Elenchera had been known to the earliest settlers in Gremilda – the magic dust that rose from the surrounding ocean gave the Gremildans the silver streaks in their hair and their glistening blue eyes – but one had to stand right by the edge to be truly close to magic.

A small island of rock overlooked the west edge, its surface blemished only by the presence of eight beautifully carved statues that stood on the outskirts of the island. Each one depicted a Gremildan of great distinction. The oldest was of a pioneer named Victor who had led the first successful crossing of the Raintops Mountains, opening the route into West Gremilda in the Second Shard. The most recent was of Moravia, a brilliant naval commander who had kept the island safe from invasion in the Ninth Shard.

The island by the west edge had long been considered sacred ground to the Gremildans. Only the Protectors and scientists were ever permitted to make the short crossing across the ocean to step foot on the island. The code had been broken by successful rebellions in the past but none more desecrating than the arrival of the Eligantian colonists. Many of the colonists had made the journey to the island but despite relentless pressure and persecution they had failed to yield the secrets of how to cast magic.

 David Brown could be considered a fantasy fanatic, especially since he has spent the last 10 years developing a 47,000-year history for his fictional world of Elenchera. When converting his obsession into literary form, David commits himself to a rigorous writing and editing process before his work can meet his approval. Combined with the critical eye of his wife and a BA Hons in History and English, David's dedication leads him to his goal of inspiring readers through heartfelt stories and characters.

Although David is inspired primarily by fantasy fiction, he also finds his muse in the form of anime, world cinema, history, and biographies. His own books, Fezariu's Epiphany and A World Apart, and the in-progress Ansel's Remorse and The Stars Beneath the Parapets combine aspects from worlds both old and new into compelling tales of a world not soon forgotten. David himself certainly does not lack a spirit of adventure; in fact, he left his job in 2007 in order to spend a month travelling. Second only to meeting and marrying his wife, David counts this as one of the most amazing experiences of his life.

LINKS:

Website – http://elenchera.com

Blog – http://tweeding.com

Twitter - @elenchera

Facebook - davidmbrownauthor

Goodreads - http://bit.ly/Nhagx3

Amazon US - http://amzn.to/TT7Afh

Amazon UK - http://amzn.to/SbbQBD

Smashwords - http://bit.ly/R7VitO

What Shall I do Today? I know, I’ll Create My Own World!

Today's blog comes to us via David Brown, the author of A World Apart and Fezariu's Epiphany. I begged him for a post on world building, and he really came through for me. Thanks so much, David, for being a fun person to know and for writing such a fantastic post.

Don’t be misled by that title. I’d like to think my creation of the world of Elenchera began as just a spontaneous thought and all fell into place easily from there but it sadly wasn’t the case. Where shall I begin?

I’d always been a fan of fantasy. In my childhood films such as Labyrinth and The Neverending Story were amongst my personal favourites. I always did okay when it came to creative writing and when I left secondary school my English teacher told me to stick with prose and poetry as he believed I had talent. That was 1998. In 1999 I created the world of Elenchera. I’m getting ahead of myself.

In late 1998 when I was studying at college I discovered the RPG series Final Fantasy on Playstation and in playing instalments VII and VIII I not only found inspiration but also was led to Norse mythology and the Icelandic Sagas. All of those influences morphed into an insistent catalyst and I suddenly grabbed a large sheet of paper and drew the world of Elenchera. This was a poor drawing in pencil, traced over in pen and then coloured in with crayons so very basic stuff.

Having a map already answered many questions for me about how the world history would develop. Settlements should be near a source of water for instance. If the land is mostly desert you’d want to live along the coast, right? The best advice I can think of with world building is to ask yourself as many questions as you can about every land, town, mountain range, ocean, river and forest etc. With a world map I could establish which lands would potentially trade with each other or even worse go to war in search of conquest and annexation. I know that might sound annoying but readers are not fools and will spot glaring errors.

From the world map I produced a map for each individual land and repeated this process for each age of history in Elenchera, known as Shards, of which there are twenty-five. At present I have 500+ maps which is a daunting figure but I’m sorry to say that is true. I once had a lot of time on my hands and the patience to go through all those maps which I’m not sure I could face doing now.

Drawing maps is one thing but building that history is quite another. I’ve always loved history and tended to get good grades at school and my passion for the subject remains undiminished. To build Elenchera I turned to Cassell’s World History which chronicles all the important events in our history from the earliest fossils to the 21^st century. It proved to be an invaluable resource for me.

As I went through the book I jotted down all the events in history that interested me and adapted them into the Elencheran timelines. I began with Elenchera as a large landmass and in the First Shard devised a way for it to be broken up. From that devastation I decided if the oceans froze it would facilitate migrations throughout the world. Eventually the ice melts and with the rising water twenty-three lands are left which develop independently of one another.

Having built that platform I spent ten years effectively developing twenty-three stories as the separate lands are fully settled and grow from small communities into thriving societies. There is cross-referencing as the lands interact with each other and in the Twelfth Shard things become very epic when lands in East Elenchera discover those in the west, giving rise to an age of discovery, imperialism and colonisation. If that sounds like Columbus discovering America in 1492 then it’s no coincidence!

Keeping track of twenty-three lands and how they interact both internally and externally is far from straightforward. World building is hard work but the reason I spent more than ten years doing it is because I wanted a solid background for the Elencheran Chronicles novels. I did try writing novels in the early stages of the history but they didn’t have enough substance to give them any real credibility as fantasy novels in my opinion. With the history in place I can ask questions of lands and towns and have the answers at my disposal. It’s been a long journey getting there but having that resource to hand when writing now has made it all worth it.