Girlie Magazines

They used to come from Ireland - Jackies and Mandies, sent to us by our indefatigable grandfather from Sandycove. His gloriously crabbed writing addressed the envelope to my sister and me. He was also not above adding sly commentary on the magazines themselves. One particularly dreadful cover of David Essex, shown swimming with red-rimmed eyes, bore the words, "Old Nyuck."

Sweet shirt, and I just may have rocked this hairdo 

The Mandies were filled with stories of girls who had wonderful talents - they were dancers, singers, actors - and all of them lost their parents and had to go and live with dreadful stepparents who mistreated them shamefully. Or they had a way with animals that defied explanation. And there were the Valda series. Valda was a girl who was very mysterious. She needed light to refresh herself from time to time, and her heartbeat was very, very slow. 

All of the stories were told in beautifully drawn detail. Some of them were silly, but they held us in thrall.

Jackies were another breed altogether. The history of Jackie magazine is funny - it purported to be a cutting edge fashion mag for teens, and for a while it was the rage in the UK. It had posters in the center of every issue, of David Bowie and the Mael Brothers, of Gary Glitter and, yes, David Essex. There were gossip columns about the stars of Poldark and Doctor Who.

The Amazing Valda!!!!!!

It also featured stories done as comics, but they were romance, of course. Some of them were humorous, and some were dolefully sad ("He Left Me for my Best Friend" etc etc)

Later, an editor for Jackie admitted that the magazine was developed and written in  a far corner of England, not on Fleet Street. The issues were mailed to London, to seem more cosmopolitan. 

Stuff like this was always happening to Mandy. She was a crab magnet.

Alas, I suppose hiring artists to illustrate stories became too expensive. The comics were replaced by dreadful Photo Stories, featuring spotty youths which made the whole thing seem a bit ridiculous. Jackie died out soon after that.

My sister still has a huge pile of Mandy annuals that she has promised to lend to my daughter. I only hope she can get the same enjoyment we derived from reading them every week.

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The Ups and Downs of Music

My kid is seriously getting into music. She joined the choir, and she discovered iTunes.

We are thrilled about both things. Seeing her in that group of little kids, all singing away, is great. However, as much as I'd like to think I've birthed the next Adele, my kid can't sing. She is tone deaf. Her pitch has Ceased to Be, if it ever lived at all.

Still, it's all good. We wear earmuffs to church and smile and nod.

Now, about the iTunes thing: my husband and I are huge music lovers. We used to go to concerts all the  time, in the era Before Kid. Back in the day, I'd throw on my ripped jeans and safety pins and go and see Iggy Pop, or  the Ramones, or David Bowie. For Hub, the band of choice was always E-Street. Bruuuuuuuuuuce!

So, I'm happy to listen to real, adult music with my child. She loves Beyonce, and Katy Perry, and Lady Gaga, so our music tastes don't quite mesh, but again: it's all good.

The problem comes when I actually listened to the  lyrics of some of the songs out there. In fact, some of the bubble gummiest, poppiest songs are all about drinking and going to parties way after hours and having a menage a trois while you're at it. I'm looking at you, Ke$ha.

Now, I'm not a hater, hatin on Ke$ha. Obviously it's working for her. However, it's a tough choice to make: Allow kid to listen to that song or Don't allow. My daughter, after all, is only in second grade!

So, should I tell her, There's no way you're going to listen to that noise? or do I let her listen to only the clean versions? And what, exactly, is the clean version of a song called "Promiscuous?"

The choice should seem simple: protect my kid at all costs. Here's the thing though. When I was in seventh grade, my parents listened to nothing but classical music. (That's not quite true, we did have that one Simon and Garfunkel album from Mom's beatnik phase.)

As a result, I listened to nothing but classical music. And, one day, in Music class, the cool music teacher handed out crossword puzzles all about rock musicians and songs by Led Zeppelin, Lynyrd Skynyrd....

I didn't know the answer to a single clue. Not one. I turned in a blank paper. And I've never forgotten that.

So, I'd like her to be able to listen to music, the  kind her friends all seem to have on their iPods. I've insisted on a few rules: Stick with the clean versions, stay away from songs that glorify abusive behavior, and approach everything with a sensible point of view.

My daughter asked me, after I had to ban a certain song from her playlist, "Mommy, why do so many songs have bad words in them?"

"I don't know, sweetie," I  replied. "I just don't know."