Halloween Stuff I Love, Sugar-Free Version

I'm all about Halloween. Not obsessively so - I don't decorate the entire house, just plop out the same decorations (wreath kid made with spiders and bats, glowing eyeball lights in the bushes - really) and prod the husband to pick up a huge bag of candy at Costco.

But I do love the month of October. For one thing, the weather is so beautiful. Except for today, of course; the sky is grouchily covered with clouds as if to say, "You writin' about ME?"

And I love the food associated with Halloween and October. Candy of course, but ever since I - I can hardly bear to say it - gave up sugar - that is out for me. No candy corn, no fun size, no pumpkin pie. I can still have pumpkin soup and pumpkin raviolis though, right? Right.

Here is a list of other Halloween and October stuff I love:

1. American Horror Story, season 2 - Season 1 was good, although I was disappointed in the Rubber Man story arc. But Season 2 looks like it could be seriously scary and horrifying, with an asylum, aliens, and nuns. SWEET! I'm not a horror movie fan, by which I mean: I scream like a tween at a 1 Direction concert and head my head and stuff. Still, I love horror books, and this series serves up enough thrills for my wuss self. Plus, I tape it and watch it at noon. Feel free to mock.

2. Retro H'ween stuff:

3. Buying costumes for my kid - Since the catalogues start coming out in August now, that's when Kid and I start shopping around. This year she is a Bride of Frankenstein, a cute, little girl version. I wanted the Eskimo Girl costume, (for her I mean) but maybe next year.

4. Seasonal Microbrews - I don't drink them myself but I vicariously enjoy it when the Husband pops open a spiced ale or an Oktoberfest. It just sounds so autumn-ish.

5. Cool nights - Apparently, along with the switch that turned off my metabolism, my body got kicked into super heat mode. Now I can sleep at night, since the room is chilly and I can snuggle under flannel sheets.

6. Horror books - Yep, I'm a fan. Here are a few I want to read:


7. Writing horror - I have an idea on the back burner that has been itching at me for a while now. I've got a really scary villain and a concept. As soon as I'm done with The South Sea Bubble, I'll let my first draft marinate and write my horror story. YESSSSSS

8. Bonfires.

9. Homemade soup. Chicken noodle, vegetable, carrot, cheese-ale - all good.

10. Beer bread.

11. Honey-Crisp Apples.

See? you can have fun without sugar at Halloween, and even during the entire month of October.

Spider!

Every year, around this time, the spiders come out of the woodwork or the webs, whatever it is. The babies hatch and scuttle around the steps and hidden corners. Momma arrives too, and as for Dad - I suppose he has already been eaten.

During my lifetime I have cultivated a tolerance of spiders. I know on some commonsense level that spiders are good things to have around. They destroy the bugs I seriously hate, such as mosquitos and ticks. 

Although, I did find a butterfly and a ladybug in one web the other day - not cool.

Still, last night, when the LARGEST, FASTEST SPIDER IN THE WORLD emerged from some dark spot and ran across my kitchen floor ... well, let's just say there may have been shrieks, and leaps, and bashings of brooms. 

I don't like it when they have what my mother used to describe as "muscles," see. A Daddy Long Legs is tolerable, but a tarantula? There are glutes involved there. No thank you oh so very much.

It all makes me think of an October morning, one year ago. I was out on the front lawn with the neighbors and my daughter, waiting for the bus. One of the kids pointed up and said, "Hey, cool Halloween decoration!"

I looked up and saw - now, I live in a tall house, and the thing was just under the roof - the living grandmother of all spiders ever born. This thing was huge. And it had a huge home. I'm talking handspan here.

Shall I bump it up another level? Brace yourselves - it also had and egg sac. Nay, TWO egg sacs.

You're still awesome, though, Charlotte.

Suddenly I received a vision: of hundreds of spiders just like that one, crawling all over the grounds. And in the house. 

Did I say crawling? Allow me to self-edit. They would have been pounding around. There would have been audible footsteps involved. 

So just maybe I cried, and perhaps I forced my husband up the long ladder to get Mrs. Arachnid and her young and fling them far, far away.

Yes, I can put up with spiders. I will capture most with a cup and a flat sheet of paper and release them out into the wild. However, I won't do that with the muscular ones that took steroids. No, sirree.

(BTW, I just read a fantastic blogpost from my friend, Johanna Garth, here. If you are a writer you can't miss this one.