Geek Luxury

You know those reality programs where everyone on the show is shown to their new luxury suite? There's a lot of heavy ooh-ing and aah-ing as the models or batchelorettes take in the stripper pole, the hot tub, the fireplace, the wet bar...

Ooh, a dining room table!

I don't know. I mean, it's all the  same, really, isn't it?

I want to see a luxury suite with a working time machine. Now that would be new and different.

Or a real railway that circled the rooms, so I could ride from place to place in my suite.

Also a transporter, duh.

Take out the flatscreen  in every room, it just seems weird to watch the news in the toilet, and replace it with a working Smellovision. 

Also, I'd like dress-up closets everywhere, complete with Renaissance outfits. And armor for the lads.

I want a trampoline room, a bubble room, and a zero grav room. (I guess I really want Tom Hanks's apartment in Big.)

Be off with your silly mini bar! And wheel in the Dr. Pepper fountain, please. 

To go with, we'll need a cotton candy machine, a butterfly fries dispenser, hot air popper, and one of those rolly hot dog makers. I like carnival food, so judge me.

Need I say it? An entire wall of books, with comfy reading chairs.

Bowling Lanes are so 2011; my hotel luxury suite comes with an ice rink and a ski slope.

The turn down service should be preformed by Neo, or Katniss. 

"Would madam prefer a mint?"

Dr. Who shows on a continuous feed, so I can finally watch those bad boys. I think I'm missing out.

And, when I get tired, The Avengers can come in and give massages to me and my entourage.

"We'll start with some deep-tissue, to really relax your muscles...."

That should do it. Maybe even Teresa would refrain from flipping tables with those amenities.