Thursday, May 17, 2012

Geek Luxury

You know those reality programs where everyone on the show is shown to their new luxury suite? There's a lot of heavy ooh-ing and aah-ing as the models or batchelorettes take in the stripper pole, the hot tub, the fireplace, the wet bar...
Ooh, a dining room table!
I don't know. I mean, it's all the  same, really, isn't it?

I want to see a luxury suite with a working time machine. Now that would be new and different.

Or a real railway that circled the rooms, so I could ride from place to place in my suite.

Also a transporter, duh.

Take out the flatscreen  in every room, it just seems weird to watch the news in the toilet, and replace it with a working Smellovision. 

Also, I'd like dress-up closets everywhere, complete with Renaissance outfits. And armor for the lads.

I want a trampoline room, a bubble room, and a zero grav room. (I guess I really want Tom Hanks's apartment in Big.)

Be off with your silly mini bar! And wheel in the Dr. Pepper fountain, please. 

To go with, we'll need a cotton candy machine, a butterfly fries dispenser, hot air popper, and one of those rolly hot dog makers. I like carnival food, so judge me.

Need I say it? An entire wall of books, with comfy reading chairs.

Bowling Lanes are so 2011; my hotel luxury suite comes with an ice rink and a ski slope.

The turn down service should be preformed by Neo, or Katniss. 
"Would madam prefer a mint?"
Dr. Who shows on a continuous feed, so I can finally watch those bad boys. I think I'm missing out.

And, when I get tired, The Avengers can come in and give massages to me and my entourage.
"We'll start with some deep-tissue, to really relax your muscles...."

That should do it. Maybe even Teresa would refrain from flipping tables with those amenities.

7 comments:

Natasha Larry said...

LOL! I looove it. That would be pretty sweet.

Roxanne Barbour said...

Perhaps a Holodeck!

Ann Simon said...

Oooh, wonderful! Except, I'll pass on smellovision on the toilet. And I want Neo AND Katness to deliver my square of chocolate to my pillow. Yesss!

Miss Jack Lewis Baillot said...

Doctor Who, Avengers. Skiing, Ice skating, books...I'm moving in.

Carlie Cullen said...

You do knows you're totally crazy - right?

NO smellovision in the toilet
NO skiing and
NO Neo

BUT

YES to my own dance studio

YES to Katness and James T Kirk (Chris Pine) and Louis Connelly (Jonathan Reese Myers) and Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgard) - and all three of the men could give me massages and any other personal services I so desire - yeah so I'm greedy, sue me!

As for the rest, I'm with you sister! When can I move in?????

Johanna Garth said...

These are sheer awesomeness. My kids were just asking me yesterday why there are water fountains but no root beer fountains.

jenny milchman said...

I want to visit your luxury suite! Can we swap iced mocha decaf for the Dr. Pepper, though?? (Too much caffeine and I wouldn't be able to enjoy the other stuff...)