How to Swim with the Sharks

This writing / computer publishing business was made for me. There are  many reasons for this, and I'm going to list a few here:

1. Don't have to wear nylons
2. Don't have to wear a suit
3. Don't have to wear high heels

Another facet of online publishing that is perfect for me is the lovely, gorgeous niceness of the online writing community. I'm so bad at being mean; I'd make a terrible cutthroat executive. Now, I'm not saying that all executives are mean or cutthroat. But my experience in the world of finance and business ( I watched a season of The Apprentice) tells me that having that tough edge in the business world is an admirable  quality. Being able to "go after  someone" is a good thing.

See, that's just not me.

When I'm flying high on Twitter and Facebook, though, meeting new authors and editors, I try to fit right in with the general sense of decency and camaraderie that prevails. There is a pretty famous thread that was being passed around a few weeks ago in which an Indie author had a meltdown on a blog because of a decent review she received.  The author objected to the few suggestions that the reviewer gave her, and she had a serious poo fit online. She ended up getting blacklisted by a chunk of other authors, editors, and potential readers.

Now, that shows that it's not all peace, love, and Bobby Sherman out there. Sometimes editors and writers have to give bad reviews, probably the most difficult job we have. In fact, I just got a tough review from an author that I really respect. He was hard on my book, but he did it in a respectful way that let me know he read the entire work.

I respect that guy more than ever now. It's easy to write a glowing review - it's much harder to read the whole novel and give specific recommendations. Furthermore, I know that he gave me that review in order to support me, and because he expects more from me. Which is a huge compliment. Thanks - you! You know who you are! 

Which brings me to my last point. I don't think we need to be cutthroats out there to each other, because we have (or we should have) a constant critic within ourselves. My friend who reviewed me told me that we should always be aiming for the very best we can do with each finished book, and with the next book we should strive to be even better.

I like that. That I can do.

Anything by Enid Blyton

Oh, sure, she was formulaic and so, so politically incorrect. In short - she was a product of her  time; she won't be chosen for a Book Club anytime soon. 


But the  joy of Enid was the way she could create adventure that enthralled young readers, volume after volume. Her books were exciting and also comforting at the same time. Reading one of her books, you knew that  the Bad Guys would get theirs, and that the protagonists would have lots  of adventures AND good food along the way. 


And what food it was! ginger cake, sardines, new potatoes, bread with butter - although sometimes, she had to rely on tins to feed her characters. They ate pineapples, biscuits, more sardines, potted meat, even butter - all out of  tins. The canning business owes a huge debt of gratitude to Madam Blyton.


Her Famous  Five series and The Secret Seven are huge, but it was the Adventure series that grabbed me as a child. Dinah, Philip, LucyAnn and Jack - I loved those kids. They were stranded inside hidden Welsh mountains, deserted Middle European valleys lined with secret caves, and kidnapped by more Bad Guys. They joined the circus. They went to sea. They stowed away in planes.they had fabulous pets.

In The Circus of Adventure, they have an unwelcome guest, whom they call Gussy:

‘Why do you have hair like that then?’ said Dinah. ‘You look like a girl. Why don’t you get it cut?’ 

‘Yes, that’s a good idea,’ said  Philip, putting a card down. ‘We’ll go into the village  tomorrow and  see if there’s a barber.  He’ll cut it nice and short for you, Gus.  You’ll get a crick in your neck,  tossing your hair about like that!

‘Yes.  Good idea! We’ll have it cut tomorrow,’ said Jack, grinning at Gus. 

Gus surprised them. He flung down his cards, stood up, and went scarlet in the face. ‘Short  hair  is  for  boys like you,' he said, scornfully. ‘It is not for me.  Never must I have my hair short. In my country always it is the custom for such boys as me to wear their hair long!’ 

 ‘Such boys as you!’ echoed Jack. ‘What do you mean? You’ve got a very high opinion of yourself, my lad. You may come from a rich family, but you act like royalty, and it won’t do. You’re not a prince, so don’t try and act like one. It only makes you ridiculous.’

Gus drew himself up to his last inch. He threw back his hair once more. ‘I am a prince!’ he said,

dramatically. ‘I am the Prince Aloysius Gramondie Racemolie Torquinel of Tauri-Hessia!'

The Minnow Leads to Treasure, by A. Philippa Pearce

This week I have posted  books where the  main character is a girl, so it's time for a book with a boy. The Minnow is a canoe that David Moss finds at the end of his garden after a storm. The boat actually belongs to Adam Codling, who lives with his Aunt Dinah and who is about to lose his house.

Adam has a clue to the family treasure, though, which is hidden "somewhere near water." So Adam and  David take The Minnow out on the river all summer, making for gorgeous, golden prose describing the boys' adventures.

The old edition I have is a hardback with illustrations by the immortal Edward Ardizzone. His cross-hatch style illustrates the juxtaposition between exciting adventure and peaceful summer atmosphere perfectly.

David and Adam are true boys, thinking about food and adventure and their boat, the Minnow. They have to earn money to paint the ship and then take it into  the river; all the while they are trying to puzzle out the meaning of  the Codling Riddle:

"When Phiilip came to the single rose
Over the water,
The treasure was taken where no one knows
None but my daughter."

And there  are side plots, like the acquisition of several kittens, and whether Adam can have a cat at all, since he and his aunt are desperately short of money and about to lose their home.

'Every day now David spent his  afternon with Adam Codling working on the canoe. Every afternoon he stayed to tea with Adam, until Mrs. Moss grew quite worried.
"Why don't you ask him to tea here, David? It's hard on Mrs. Codling to be always giving you tea - I know your appetite.
"But we can't work on the canoe here, Mother," said David.
"That canoe!" sighed  Mrs. Moss.'