We're off to see The Croods today, and I already know what is going to happen:
1. I'll dread the movie as a dumbo kiddie deal but will end up sniffling at the sentimental parts and laughing like a hyena at the comedy, just as I did with Despicable Me, Toy Story 3, etc etc
2. My kid will want a drink (a precedent set by someone's father) and I'll order the smallest one they have at the snack bar. The snack dude will hand me a filled soda cup the size of a small oil barrel.
People rail against drink limitations, stating they should be able to buy a beverage as large as they want - but couldn't we buy one as small as we want too? In other words, movie theater companies, could I please have the option to buy a Sprite for my kid that is smaller than her entire head and shoulder area?
3. We will stick to the floor , probably because other movie-goers spilled their massive drinks.
4. The tallest man in the world will come and sit right in front of my kid.
5. Halfway through the movie, just as I decide I love the film and am happily sniffling away, my daughter will have to pee, thanks to the....
oh, I'll stop.
6. The woman behind me will get lots of texts, and her alert will be "Gangnam Style."
7. I'll lose the car in the parking lot and have to use my embarrassing (to my 8 year old) Honk Option on my key fob.
8. On the way home she'll beg and beg me to put the DVD on her birthday wishlist.
9. Despite all of my whining, we'll have a wonderful time.