Crowds and the Walking Dead

My husband wanted to go to the amusement park, which is right down the street. I had warnings from the local moms that it was a very busy time of the year to hit the rides. He didn't listen, holding his usual philosophy of "Oh, it'll be fine."

The reason for the crowds is that it is officially Fright Fest here in New Jersey. That means that as you wait in line for hours to go on a two minute ride, teens in ghoul makeup lurk, ready to terrify kids. The kids themselves (my daughter and her friend) are more than ready to be terrified.

"It's Fright Fest," I say.

"YAYYYYY!!!!!" is their response. "Can we walk through the graveyard?"

I tell them we can, after we get on the ride. An hour passes. We wait in line, and wait, and wait, and wait. The husband begins to see my point about Fright Fest.

The kids begin to get squirelly. They find different ways of endangering themselves on the bars that mark where the line goes. My husband and I chat with the people next to us in line, mainly about how much it stinks to wait in a line.

We finally, finally get to ride the ride. As we get into the car, one of the kids announces ... yes, that they have to pee. I tell them to hold it and we go through the ride.

We head to the bathroom. Shocker! Another line. More waiting, more chat about how lines suck.

Now it's time to head to the graveyard. The kids are really excited. As we get closer, though, my kid's friend starts to look thoughtful. She holds my hand in a killer death grip.

"Are you sure you want to go in?" I ask.

"Yeah!" they both yell.

We enter the graveyard, with the usual fake smog, organ music, and the walking dead (teens in green makeup.)

"Ouch," I say. The friend's grip is cutting off circulation.

The graveyard is packed too. Everyone wants to see the walking dead! I look around. More parents, whose hands are getting crushed by more kids who stood in line to see the graveyard.

Back to the car, parents singing a happy "We Are Going Home" tune. We wait in line to leave the park, having ridden on one ride, peed, and been crushed in a graveyard.

The kids fall asleep on the way home.