I heard about it all my life, and here it is now - The Change. It came right on time, too - at fifty, when I had confidence issues anyway just by virtue of that number alone. My rebellious hormones decided to kick in a little extra action of their own, I now find.
And it's so cliché. I wake up at night, heart pounding as I rush to throw off the covers / turn on the fan / gulp cold water - anything to banish the night sweats. And can I go right back to sleep? Noooooo. Apparently that luxury is now denied to me; thank goodness for natural sleep aids.
I notice that I am a lot crankier these days too. And I hate it. I want to be the pleasant wife, the nice mother - the one that kids run to and hug. Instead, I find myself yelling like a banshee because my daughter insists on twisting her head from side to side as I try to put her hair up in a ponytail. What will it matter in ten years if she wen to school for one day with her pony askew? I ask you? That makes sense right now, but it didn't at 8:13 this morning. The Daylight Savings Time Change didn't help either.
Let's see. What else? I knew there was something....something to do with memory....
Not to mention the whole unexplained weight gain, which of course is coming out of nowhere. Because of course I exercise just as much and eat vegan. Of course I do!
However, I must say that The Change and that whole fifties thing has lit a fire under my ass. I'm realizing that if I want to accomplish anything, it had better be now. I can't tell myself, oh, I'll write that novel next decade, because the next decade is the sixties. Not the cool Beatles sixties, either.
Age is just a number, and people do amazing things in their fifties, sixties and seventies. Women are beautiful with wrinkles. I prefer men with a touch of gray.
But that night sweat thing is real.