Wednesday, March 16, 2011

"The Change"

I heard about it all my life, and here it is now - The Change. It came right on time, too - at fifty, when I had confidence issues anyway just by virtue of that number alone. My rebellious hormones decided to kick in a little extra action of their own, I now find.

And it's so cliché. I wake up at night, heart pounding as I rush to throw off the covers / turn on the fan / gulp cold water - anything to banish the night sweats. And can I go right back to sleep? Noooooo. Apparently that luxury is now denied to me; thank goodness for natural sleep aids.

I notice that I am a lot crankier these days too. And I hate it. I want to be the pleasant wife, the nice mother - the one that kids run to and hug. Instead, I find myself yelling like a banshee because my daughter insists on twisting her head from side to side as I try to put her hair up in a ponytail. What will it matter in ten years if she wen to school for one day with her pony askew? I ask you? That makes sense right now, but it didn't at 8:13 this morning. The Daylight Savings Time Change didn't help either.

Let's see. What else? I knew there was something....something to do with memory....

Not to mention the whole unexplained weight gain, which of course is coming out of nowhere. Because of course I exercise just as much and eat vegan. Of course I do!

However, I must say that The Change and that whole fifties thing has lit a fire under my ass. I'm realizing that if I want to accomplish anything, it had better be now. I can't tell myself, oh, I'll write that novel next decade, because the next decade is the sixties. Not the cool Beatles sixties, either.

Age is just a number, and people do amazing things in their fifties, sixties and seventies. Women are beautiful with wrinkles. I prefer men with a touch of gray.

But that night sweat thing is real.

6 comments:

Kara said...

Age is just a number is right. If you don't say anything, nobody will know . .. ;)

jbchicoine said...

Oh, MY! this all sounds just a bit too familiar! I look forward to following your journey :) ...in a co-conspirator sort of way...

Alison said...

So happy to have co-conspirators along for the ride!

west_2552 said...

It's a huge change. I think about doing some indoor painting (ceilings/walls/trim) and become exhausted just thinking about it!! All that prep work!! And it takes twice as long (now) as what you anticipate!

Menopause has been fairly kind. Nary a night sweat, although I did experience heart palpitations in the past, one of the fringe benefits! Maybe the hot flashes are just waiting for the "right time". I hope not!!

Anyway, I sure as heck don't get nearly as much done as what I used to do. We have two high shelves on opposite walls of our addition where we display various items. Once a year, I'd get up on a ladder and take each item down, wash it, and put it back up. Not to mention vacuum up all the cobwebs and dead bugs while I was up there. Oh, and I'd somehow hold onto the upright vacuum with one hand and the nozzle with the other hand and balance myself while I was on the ladder! This year my 20-year-old son (great help to his parents, BTW) was the balancing act on the ladder and the vacuumer of cobwebs/dead bugs. I washed the various vases, etc., and handed them back up to the next generation to place back on the shelves. I guess I can safely say that I've given up that job, although I do continue to be part of it!! The things we used to do.....

And you guys!!! Don't color your hair!! It's just wrong!! Wrong!!!!!

Dwight said...

Hi Alison, Dwight Okita here from ABNA. I came looking to check out your blog. Did you say you have a list of all the ABNAite blogs here?

Also, I'm new to blogging. Does blogger automatically allow responding posts to be visible? I like that. I thought most blogs hid responding posts.

Alison said...

Hi, Dwight!

No, I don't have a compiled list. I've just been going to all the blogspot links from the ABNA boards and following them from Blogger.

And I decided to show all the comments. I chose that option; might switch it later if the comment section gets a bit overwhelming (it's a problem I would love to have!)