Fresh Pot of Tea

Eye Pins, Anyone?

2012-02-29T09:12:00.002-05:00

Today I have to deal with my least favorite tasks of all, those of the administrative variety. It's not just bill payments and bank transfers - I'm talking passports here.

The passport application for my kid is already in, and that was bad enough. I had to drive to the place with unwilling kid in tow, arrive a few minutes late, discover I didn't have all the necessary documents, send husband home to get those documents, and fill out forms.

Yes, I'm a hot mess. Yes, I started getting itchy at this point.

Another hot mess. Fistbump!

Here's the thing: I HAVE a passport for my kid that is perfectly fine. It doesn't expire until well after the trip. But because some ~~tools~~ people out there are kidnappers, now it's suspicious to travel with a passport that will expire in a few months. Hence the rush.

Plus, kids need a new passport each time. You can't just renew their passport. Noooooo, you have to start from scratch with a whole new application.

Did the "man" at the "place" explain any of this to me on the phone when I set up the appointment?

NOPE

Well, I can't blame him. It was my responsibility, to be fair. But I like to play passive-aggressive, especially when I have to send out my husband on a useless errand for forms that I should have had in the first place. It's Wife Prerogative; I'm sorry, husbands out there, but it just is. Your own fault, by the way, husbands - after all, we wives have to, HAVE TO, avoid the dreaded Eye Roll.

I filled out the forms and got the picture taken at last. At this point the "man" in the "place" said, "Oh, you don't need to order expedited service. It will arrive in plenty of time."

But it hasn't, see. He was wrong, wrong, wrong. So now I have to find those forms that I had a few weeks ago to go back into the system and up the service to expedited, like I wanted in the first place.

I know, I know - I need a little

with my

WHINE

Enjoy your day. Send good thoughts my way that I find those forms. And include some eye pins, wouldja?

Her First Confession

2012-02-28T12:29:00.000-05:00

I know I'm on a bit of a Catholic kick this week. As I explained yesterday, that's because my daughter is preparing for FHC (First Holy Communion.) And, as someone who is completely new to the church, I am watching all this with awe.

Today is the day she makes her first penance. Of course, as a writer and reader, the first thing that came to my mind was the Irish short story First Confession, by Frank O'Connor. O'Connor describes a little boy who confesses the crime of wanting to kill his grandmother because she drinks porter and takes snuff "and goes around in her bare feet."

I find myself wondering what the terrible sins will be that are confessed today. I've imagined a few of them:

"I stole Timmy's gum."

"I laughed when the teacher tripped over the trashcan in class."

"My mom punished me and I called her an Old Poop Head."

I can only think that the priest in our church is rubbing his hands right now, looking forward to some fair measure of entertainment. I have to admire him for NOT bursting out laughing in that confession box. How will he accomplish it?

In O'Connor's story, it's obvious that the priest is "kilt" with laughter. At the end of the terrible deeds, he gives the little boy a bag of "bullseyes," or peppermints. This enrages the sister, who had foretold dire punishments for her brother. She concludes at the end, "'Tis no advantage to anybody trying to be good. I might just as well be a sinner like you."

I'll never know what the Father gets to hear today. But I can imagine it, and get a chuckle too.

First Holy Cow!

2012-02-27T09:38:00.000-05:00

We are quickly approaching the time for my daughter's First Holy Communion. I didn't grow up Catholic, so this is a whole new world for me.

And it is a world, apparently, where the little black strip has crawled off the back of my credit card, gotten down on its hands and knees, and begged for mercy. First there was the dress. My kid let me off easy by picking one that was on sale. At this point, please pause and picture a middle-aged woman doing a full fledged WOOT and punching the air. I know it's not pretty, but that's what happened.

Then there were the shoes. My daughter, who is a beautiful girl and a lovely person, just happens to have speedboats for feet. It is difficult to even find communion shoes in her size. Add to that her own requirements - no ankle strap, has to have a high heel. Add my requirements - No, she can't wear platforms, no, they can't have glitter all over them, no, they can't be anything any of the Housewives of Ocean County would wear. Add the Church's requirement - White Shoe.

Yeah, that's hard to find in speedboat size. Where is the DSW for kids? Hm?

So not wearing these, girlfriend

After the dress and the shoes are in place, there is a whole world of accessories to explore! Apparently you have to have a special First Holy Communion (henceforth known as FHC) purse, bible, rosary, and wrap. Our church doesn't allow gloves. Don't have to buy gloves! Repeat image of middle-aged woman going WOOT! and doing an air punch.

Now we have come to the crux of the matter - THE HEADPIECE. She picked out one with a tiara and an attached veil. (I would have so killed for this thing when I was seven.) In the end I got it for her, but let me tell you - at that price, it's also going to be her wedding veil. Plus she might graduate high school and college in it too. In fact, I might start wearing it while I do the air punch in the future; I feel it might add a little bling to the whole process.

Pretty, right? So are BMW's and diamond lollipop holders.

I know the day of the FHC I'll be overcome with emotion as I watch my little beauty walk up and receive the Host for the first time. After all, that's the whole point of the thing. There will be tears. And a credit card bill. But it will be worth it.

Fishy Friday

2012-02-24T08:52:00.000-05:00

I don't think of myself as a big meat eater, but when Lent sneaks up on me (and it always does) all of a sudden I feel like I devour Tyronno-steaks by the dozen. I know that during the year I happily serve entrees based on fish, shellfish, soy, and legumes, but add that meatless Friday element and it all goes kerblooey.

This is why diets don't work, for me, at least. I'm a healthy eater, but if I concentrate on what I eat, all of a sudden I want to buy Italian pastries and Twinkies.

I have some go-to recipes during Lent, the kind that I can type out without looking at a recipe card. Here's what I'm serving tonight, and it just happens to be my husband's favorite fish dish:

Baked Catfish

Preheat oven to 400.

Take six medium sized catfish fillets. Make certain they are cleaned of skin and bones. Pat dry with paper towel.

Prepare two shallow pans with:

Number one pan - Coarse cornmeal mixed with 1/2 tsp salt, dash white pepper, dash cayenne pepper (more if you like things spicy,) and the zest of one lemon

Number two pan - half cup skim milk mixed with juice of that fresh lemon you just zested. You can add a little hot sauce to this mix if you really like the heat!*

Now drizzle olive oil on the bottom of a large baking dish.

Take each fillet and dip it first in the skim milk mixture (which by now should have curdled and thickened a bit with the lemon juice) and then in the seasoned cornmeal.

Lay each fillet in the oiled baking dish. When they are all coated, drizzle tops with a bit more olive oil.

Bake for at 15 - 25 minutes, depending on the thickness of the fish and the heat index of your oven. Fish should be white all the way through when you test, with no clear or pink spots.

At the very end, I like to run a creme brulee torch over the top to really crisp up the fillets. If you don't have one of those babies, you can broil for 3-5 minutes to get the same nice, browned effect.

Sprinkle the top with a little chopped fresh parsley.

These are delicious served with a green salad and a side of basmati rice. A glass of wine wouldn't go amiss, either.

*I just have to add this Frank's Red Hot commercial our friends clued us into:

Welcome to my Interverse

2012-02-23T10:35:00.000-05:00

Enter my rocket, and come with me into deep space. In our capsule, we hover over a large galaxy. It has no shape. It's not a spiral, or even a Sombrero Galaxy. It exists, perhaps, in five dimensions.

The Sombrero Galaxy

The atmosphere is, of course, the Clouds - those nuggets of info that rain down at the touch of a button. I'm still learning the strange ways of Clouds.

Underneath lies a huge, sprawling, messy planet, much like Asimov's Trantor. There is the internet, of course, with large sites and blogspots. They grow, dwindle, disappear, reappear in breathtaking fashion and speed.

Trantor

They all interact with the Facebook Ocean and the Twitter River. Transport between sites and the social media waters is instantaneous and constant. Those who learn how to apparate between the two, and those who can set up their own train stations along the way, will get good results.

A map of this planet is ever-changing, ever-growing. There is danger at areas all over the social media waters and the actual nets themselves. Even in the Clouds, I'm sure, we could say, Here There Be Dragons.

Here There Be Dragons

To further confound things, we all have our own version of that planet. Our planets intermingle with other versions. Mine, for example, has a pretty large Twitter river, a somewhat deep Facebook Ocean, and this tiny little blog as a village hub. My LinkedIn continent is represented, at the moment, by mere postcards. MySpace Mountain has fallen off the edge. Goodreads is a bit of a jungle. And sites like Amazon tower over all, meting out rules and punishments at will.

I like to envision my own version of the Interverse. I can see my Twitter river, muddied at times with too much marketing, cleared up with human interaction, and then polluted again when I grow lazy. My little blog village sells its wares and constantly needs to be updated. There are other blog villages to visit in order to keep mine healthy and growing.

If I look at it like that, in moments of - insanity? - then it's not all so overwhelming. It's my little slice of eternity.

The Secret World of Arietty

2012-02-21T08:54:00.000-05:00

My daughter and I went with friends yesterday to see this Studio Ghibli gem. We are big fans of Miyazake, so we leapt at the chance to see Arietty in theaters.

The last Ghibli movie we saw on the big screen was Ponyo. It had received rave reviews, and I was excited to watch it. Honestly, I was a bit disappointed by Ponyo. The subject was so large and over-reaching that the Ghibli magic was a bit lost, even though the production was, as always, gorgeous.

But I prefer Miyazake's simpler stories: Totoro, in which two sisters try and get along while their mother is in hospital, and Kiki's Delivery Service, about a young witch setting up her own business.

Arietty was one of these. The story was simple: there is a family of small people ("Borrowers") who live beneath the floor of a house where a sick boy is staying for a week before his heart operation. The Borrowers are wary of humans, whom they call "Beens," and when the daughter, Arietty, is spotted by the boy, the family feels they have to move.

It's very simple, but the animation is lush and breathtaking. The movement of a small Borrower climbing an ivy-covered house, the way the Borrowers climb with tools like fishhooks and earrings, and Arietty's bedroom are gorgeous. I won't give away the ending, but it is beautiful too, and touching.

Arietty's bedroom. I want to live here!

I read the Borrower books, and Miyazake shortened the story. It doesn't lose at all in the process. (I actually enjoyed Howl's Moving Castle more as a Ghibli movie than as a book; I'm a huge Diana Wynne Jones fan, but sometimes the reaction to her stories is - "Huh?") If you haven't read the books, do go and find them to read. The Borrowers' world is detailed by master storyteller Mary Norton, who thought of such things for her little people to use as "The Scissor," one blade of a pair of scissors.

Small kids and adults will love this movie. The fact that the boy has to have an operation could be upsetting for very young children, although it might foster some interesting conversations with older ones. As for my daughter, she watched the movie with wide eyes, and at the end her first question was, "Can we buy the DVD?"

Actually, you can get the DVD, but the voice actors are English. the version we watched had Bridgit Mendler, the actress from Good Luck Charlie, voicing the part of Arietty. I thought she did a fine job, and Genna was more than happy with it. I assume that version will be out in a few months.

Reality Hits

2012-02-17T12:04:00.000-05:00

Last night's homework centered on the difference between Fantasy and Reality. Can't you just picture that worksheet, and what a welcome break it was from preparing for the Terra Nova tests?

It got me thinking, though, about how many times I've pictured something in my mind and, of course, the reality is far different. For example:

The trip to St. Thomas should have been spent on the beach, not in the hotel room with "stomach upsets."

Pregnancy should make you smarter and slimmer, not more vacant and with larger feet.

Chocolate should leach calories from the system, not grapefruit.

A trip to the night club should not end with the discovery of footprints on the back of my shirt the following morning.

Christmas morning should never begin at 4:30 in the A.M.

******

I suppose nowhere is this more obvious than in being an author. A writer starts with a fabulous idea. Hey! A book about brain-sucking taxi drivers! It'll be huge! You sashay off to the computer, secure in the knowledge that the words will simply roll off the fingertips.

But, wait! What do you know about taxis, anyway? Where do they start their days? How do they get paid? What kind of slang do they use? Why do they use those seat covers with large wooden beads?

After some research, back you go to the computer. Now you're ready. You have seen the future, and it is You!

You begin to type, but your characters start to quarrel with each other in ways you didn't foresee. You don't like your love interest anymore. You villain now seems kind of cute.

It should have been easy. But in reality, fantasy is pretty hard.

PS - How do footprints get on the back of one's shirt, anyhow?

What's My Name?

2012-02-16T11:08:00.000-05:00

Great Expectations. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues. The Curious Incident of the dog in the Nighttime. These are great titles. The first one isn't very flashy, but it is simple and suggests a world of dreams that, perhaps, will never come true. The last three are pure imagination.

Titles don't have to be flashy to be cool. I love Thomas Pyncheon's V (the title, not the book. Hey, I tried!) and Gravity's Rainbow. To Kill a Mockingbird and One Hundred Years of Solitude are pure poetry. So is For Whom the Bell Tolls, obviously.

Some song titles are amazing too. Of course Dylan springs to mind, with "Rainy Day Women #12 & 35." "Oops, I Did It Again," not so much.

I like funny titles, like Stephen Colbert's I Am America, and So Can You, as well as How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, and Me Talk Pretty One Day.

It's incredible when authors showcase their style with a title. I don't mean just finding a way to linking all titles together, but if you can give the reader an idea of what you're all about as an author in four or five words, that's genius. Harlan Ellison's I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream, Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are (the book! Not the movie!) L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time ...

Those names seem so simple, and yet they are so definite at the same time. It's as though the books always existed. Do you know how hard that is to do?!

Bravo, authors, you purveyor of words, for imagining such delightful names! Now, Dear Readers, what titles do you particularly love?

Sick Day

2012-02-15T08:38:00.000-05:00

My daughter is home today with a fever. Sick Day!

Hey, remember those? I'm showing my age, but here is what a sick day meant when I was in elementary school:

1. Old TV, including I Dream of Jeanie, F Post, Family Affair, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, and Gomer Pyle.

2. Sick food: Chicken Noodle soup, ginger ale, saltines, and jello.

3. Board games: Snakes and ladders, Candyland, and Sorry. Not Monopoly - that took too long.

4. A midday nap: not so fun back then, but now it's the zenith of perfection.

5. Privileged view of kids going off in the bus and knowing you didn't have to go. (Insert evil snicker)

6. Reading in bed, part one: The allowed reading, like Pippi Longstocking, Moomintrolls, Nancy Drew.

I'll just sit here in this marsh and examine a clock. As you do.

7. Reading in bed, part two: The forbidden reading: Archie comics, Vampirella, and the babysitter's Sidney Sheldon. Pure, unadulterated dreck.

Wedgie alert, girlfriend. How about some nice yoga pants?

Good times.

Wild Fire - Lisa Zhang Wharton and Romance

2012-02-14T07:49:00.002-05:00

Lisa Zhang Wharton

I write with Lisa Zhang Wharton at Fantasy Island Book Publishing. Take a careful note of her name, because such a talented writer won't stay unknown for long. She is the author of Last Kiss in Tiananman Square, a story of doomed love before a tragic, historical event in China.

She is also the author of many short stories (You can see more here and here) and this one captures the fire of romance, just in time for Valentine's Day.

Last Kiss in Tiananmen Square

Wild Fire

The fire starts shortly after the dawn. The black smoke is blowing over the Mississippi from the boathouse, hovering over the river. Red flames are shooting up like vicious devils to declare their power as the precious wooden boats burn into ashes.

Riding my bicycle along the river, the view of the boathouse burning rekindles the flame in my heart. The rowing season is over. So is my little interlude with Ray. Now the boathouse is engulfed in flames. The place that was filled with my beautiful moments with Ray is about to become just debris and cinders. Looking at the black smoke in the distance, I could not ignore the lingering heat in my heart. Is that what I am seeing in the distance, the still-smoldering fire in my heart? Those long-ignored smoldering embers, nearly forgotten, have enkindled a renewed fiery passion.. Through the smoke, past the blackened wooden A frame, I can still feel Ray and I having our wild kisses. In a dark corner of that boathouse, when everyone else was out rowing on the river, we had our very private time together.. As I watch the smoke and the flames licking the sky, I can feel him rubbing my hair. …The excitement has returned, but only for a brief second, as our special place burned in the distance.

*************************

“The river is beautiful,” said Ray, woke me up from my deep thinking.

“I thought you lived on the water.”

“Yes. I do. But lakes and rivers are very different. I never really appreciated that until now. OK! It’s different, too, in a motorboat. You’re usually just watching for traffic. On the river you see the bank, the trees, the houses and all the reflections.. Gee, I’m even starting to appreciate nature.”

“So write a poem for me,” I was challenging him, which was always fun for me.

“Hey, don’t push the envelope. Keep trying. Maybe after ten years, you will be able to get a few lines out of me.”

Then he turned around. “By the way, I will be on a business trip next week. I wouldn’t be able to take lessons for a week.”

Looking at his eyes, his two small eyes were glowing like a river flowing through them.

I stepped over and hugged him.

“I will miss you.” Words slipped out of my mouth.

He was silent for a long time. Then he started kissing me.

With the stars as witnesses, the Milky Way and all the rest of world, his passionate kisses made me feel otherworldly. When was the last time I had such experience? I did not remember.

He held my face with his big, slightly rough hands. His face was glowing under the stars and the reflections of the streetlamps..

“Meihua, you know. What we have just done could damage both of our reputations and could be potentially dangerous.”

Silence. A cold breeze made me shiver.

“But it is worth it with you”, as he showered more kisses on me. I felt so tiny and cozy between his muscular arms.

Ice and Snow

2012-02-13T13:05:00.000-05:00

My daughter didn't want to study her spelling words.

"Why ever not?" I asked.

"They make me sad," she replied.

I looked at the list. There was Snow, and Ice, as well as Valentine and Washington. "What's wrong with those words?" I wondered.

She pointed to Valentine. "I know that's going to happen," she said. "But there isn't any snow. And there isn't any ice."

It has been an uncommonly warm winter. For some folks, that is a good thing. No digging out the driveway, no huge piles of snow where you want to park ... that's all good. But from a kid's perspective, there isn't any sledding (we call it sleigh riding in my area of New Jersey) or snowball throwing or icicle gathering and eating. (My kid loves icicles, more than ice pops.)

Remember the scene when it snowed in To Kill a Mockingbird? Scout and her brother went to all the neighbors' houses and asked them for their snow. With what they collected, they were able to build one snowman.

That's what we did in the last "storm." We scraped all the snow off the lawn and managed to make a decent sized snow dude. A day later, he melted.

The crocuses are coming up early. Soon, the pear trees will start to bud in the front lawn. Easter will come along, and winter will be over.

It's a good thing. But also a shame.

Free Books for Kindle Download 2/12/12; Romance books contest

2012-02-12T14:36:00.001-05:00

All of these books are free for Kindle download today, Sunday, February 12 2012. Just click on the titles to go to the Amazon page.

Binary

Brooklyn- is a junior in high school, who is sick of high school drama. She doesn’t fit in and is the recipient of constant bullying. So, when a stunning, oddly dressed, guy approaches her on the beach, she doesn’t understand why he would; take the time, to talk to her.

Tyche- The son of his planet’s Emperor, is lost. His planet is at war. His father was murdered and the only hope he has, is to find a girl, he has seen in a vision of his future. She is somehow, the key to solving his problems.

The two begin an adventure, with their friends, to find five elements to save Tyche’s planet. In the process they find adventure, love and themselves.

"When our gazes meet, I feel my knees struggle, to keep me standing upright. If this is an illusion, I never want to be sane again. If this is a dream, I never want to wake up. If this is all real, I am in trouble. I don’t think I can pull my heart out, of this one, now that I am in so deep. I can’t fight gravity."

Brother, Betrayed

"One brother will betray the others with such treachery that it will change the destiny of Miscia forever."

The three princes hear this prophecy, and they will discover how far it will drive them to explore love, loyalty, and their own souls.

The princes are bound by loyalty to each other and their kingdom. When conflict comes to their land, their ascension into power is darkened by betrayal.

Oman, eldest and Anteria's promised king, leads his brothers on their journey through Arnith.

Fasime, driven by passion, seeks a life of romance and adventure.

Syah, born the ailing youngest brother of these two outgoing princes, endeavours to overcome his bleak destiny through pursuit of knowledge and magic... a quest that may reveal unknown power within his own soul.

A tale woven with deception, war, sacrifice, and magic, BROTHER, BETRAYED takes readers to a troubled kingdom surrounded by barbarians, magical races, and forbidden boundaries.

Devil's Kitchen

In The Night Watchman Express, Miriam and Simon were kidnapped and thrown on the strange train... Now in Book Two of The Crown Phoenix series, they arrive at the terrifying destination known as Devil's Kitchen.

There they will face human experiments in a laboratory known as The Infirmary.

There Miriam will be forced to work in an underground factory.

There Simon is held in a luxurious prison by jailers who are as beautiful as they are deadly...

And their courage will be tested to the breaking point.

Sakuri

Life as a package courier might not be the most glamorous of lifestyles; but for Sakuri it certainly comes at no shortage of thrills and dealings with the city's underbelly. So when an ex-mob boss requests a delivery through Sakuri's work it appears just to be an average job; right down to the attempt on her life to assure that package isn't delivered.

A stray bullet cracks up the case during the battle, revealing an innocuous gemmed gauntlet within. In order to protect the delivery Sakuri slips it on, only to discover that once attached the device is not so willing to be removed. As she would come to know it by; the Metamorpher becomes the source of Sakuri's future troubles.

Thrusting her into a world that constantly challenges the reality she once knew; Sakuri now contends with both earthly foes and a malefic force heralding from beyond the stars seeking the device for itself. Intentions that have no kind regard for the Metamorpher's host; or those around her.

Terps

Deafness is perceived as a culture and not as a disability in the world of "Terps" and interpreters comprise the subculture that can only exist where Deaf and hearing overlap.

That's the backdrop, but the story is about a marriage. An interpreter marries the only hearing member of a famous Deaf family. The interpreter has chosen to build her life around the Deaf world, but her husband was born into it and would rather do just about anything else.

The Last Guardian

CJ Carson believes herself to be slightly crazy. For as long as she can remember, she has been plagued with strange dreams, migraines and an imaginary friend that never seems to go away: a voice of love and reason she has heard in her head since childhood.

Born in a time of turmoil and bloodshed, Mika Elkhart is half-coyote, half Lakota warrior. Orphaned at birth, he was taken to Haven, a place of refuge and respite for shape-shifters. There he was raised by the Guardians of Haven, becoming a member of Delta Pack, the Theriontrope Foundation's elite defense force. His was a world of death and darkness aside from his one ray of hope, CJ Carson.

The time has come for Mika to reveal his true identity and convince CJ to willingly take her father’s place as the Guardian of Haven. But for CJ, the road to Haven is laid with danger brought about by the Loki, the Lord of Chaos. Without a Guardian, Haven will destroy itself and without his Little Star, so may Mika.

William the Damned

A ghost ship... below the deck there is a sight beyond believe, fifty men and woman dead upon their backs.

Their eyes are closed and their hands twined together upon their chest. Here in the lowest deck, where not an inch of light manages to intrude, they lie dead.

William is a vampire pirate, with an unquenchable thirst for human blood. He has an aversion for holy water, crucifixes and garlic. Exposure to sunlight will turn him to dust. He has loved before, but never like this and for Susanna, he would make the ultimate sacrifice.

Furthermore, you can enter to get an entire shelf of romance books for your ereader! Just click HERE to enter.

Free Kindle Books -6 More Free Books For 2-11-12

2012-02-11T10:42:00.000-05:00

All of these books are free for download today on Kindle. Just click on the links to go to the download page.

Tower of Bones - Epic Fantasy from the author of The Last Good Knight.

Edwin Farmer toils away on his father’s sleepy farm, unaware of his family’s bargain with the Goddess Aeos, or the manner in which he will be called upon to honor that bargain.

From the first moment that he is in the strange land of Neveyah, Edwin finds himself fighting for his life ...

In the Rose Tower of the haunted keep of Mal Evol, the Bull God holds the key to winning the war between the Gods. Imprisoned and alone in a strange country, Marya awaits the rescue promised by her only friends: the shadowy ghosts that haunt the Shadow Castle.

Obsessed with rescuing the girl that he dreams of nightly, Edwin struggles to develop the unique abilities that will allow him to steal Marya back from the Rose Tower and save her from the madman who holds her prisoner.

After Ilium Four years of college has not taught Alex as much as he will learn in a couple of weeks on the Turkish coast!

Three thousand years ago Greeks fought Trojans below the fortress of Ilium. Now it is 1993 and new college graduate Alex Parris cruises to Istanbul, seeking his own adventure at Ilium. On the way, however, he meets Elena, a mysterious older woman who draws him into an affair---then forces him to fight for her!

But Alex finds that escaping from the local jail is only the first of many obstacles to returning to his lover, as he embarks on his own odyssey across the wild Turkish coast! It is a journey that will test his will to survive and make him question everything he has been taught about life, love, and the way the world really works!

Black Numbers In a land where magic is based on advanced mathematics, Sid is something special, for his awakening sexuality and genius-level understanding of mathematics combines to create a power beyond anything ever seen in the world. Sid’s journey propels him into the center of a 1000-year-struggle with an outcome obscured by a darkness known as Black Numbers.

Ednor Scardens When the boob fairy makes an early visit in sixth grade, eleven-year-old Kate Fitzgerald is unprepared for the repercussions. Her puppy-love relationship with classmate Gabe Kelsey quickly blossoms. But her carefree days in Catholic school darken with the arrival of Father John O'Conner, a predatory priest with a hidden past. Life becomes even more tangled when Kate falls hard for Gabe's darkly handsome older brother, Michael. The Kelsey boys couldn't be more different: one is shy and self-effacing; the other is tall, athletic, and confident.
As the brothers battle for Kate’s affections, how will she choose without tearing their family apart? When she silently witnesses a frightening scene between Gabe and Fr. O'Conner, Kate is unaware that she is O'Conner's intended next victim.

Sax and the Suburb Why is someone killing the community band geeks of Richland, Texas? Miranda Beeling would like to know, since she is one of them.

Miranda is trying to recover from the recent death of her mother and the betrayal of her fiancé (a bigamist wannabe). She's retreated back to her childhood home, trying to sort through her clutterholic father’s horde of junk, despite his determined opposition. Miranda's only enjoyable social activity is playing saxophone in the local community band. Her enjoyment ends when trombonist David Hu is killed, and her bassoonist friend Louise is the prime suspect in his murder.

Motivated by concern for her friends and an inescapable feeling that she might be the next victim, Miranda investigates. Armed with only her legal research skills, a keen sense of humor, and a gift for getting into trouble, Miranda may eventually figure it all out, but not before uncovering several secrets she would rather not have known.

Sons of Roland Sons of Roland is a group memoir about the birth, life, death and resurrection of The Visitors, a 1960's rock & roll band hailing from Brooklyn. It follows bass player turned music mogul Edward Houlihan as he recounts The Visitors' meteoric rise to greatness, their wild escapades and their tragic demise. It's a story that must be told, and there is no one better to tell it than the Sons of Roland themselves...

Forty years of sex, drugs and rock & roll explode to reveal the secrets and mysteries surrounding the most bizarre chapter in the history of rock & roll music, proving that Elvis is Dead, Paul is Alive and so are the Sons of Roland.

Valentines from the Past

2012-02-10T10:58:00.003-05:00

Ah, me, romance used to be a very flowery, lacy thing. Look at this lovely Victorian valentine:

Aw. Doves. Awwww.

And you have the 50's ones, rife with bad puns:

Bet you never saw this one coming:

Ouch, it hurts

I think I might have sent this one to an ever-suffering friend, back in the day:

Actually, this one is sort of fabulous.

I can just picture the writers, all in their poly suits, sitting back with a coffee or a high ball, offering puns and groaning in unison. "Hey, fellas, Deer? Match? Plane? Sweet? Viking?"

Then there are the themed Valentine cards:

I kinda like this one, too, the more I look at it.

Really, Gandalf? Really?

And then there's this guy. It's not to hard to see why he is eating ALONE:

D Bag.

Lend My Book!

2012-02-09T08:41:00.000-05:00

I have amazing readers. You guys keep me going when the plot just isn't working out, when my characters are bratty, when I can't find a direction or an ending.

Therefore, for those of you who bought my book as a Kindle, I just wanted to let you know you can lend that Kindle book! It's very easy to do, but there are a few restrictions: you can only lend it to the same person once, and you can only lend it for fourteen days. So, it's like you're giving a friend a virtual requested library book for two weeks.

Here's how to lend T he Night Watchman Express, Devil's Kitchen, and Christmas O'Clock:

1. Go to one of the Amazon pages for the books. (Those are live links up there; how convenient!)

2. At the top, above the title, you'll see the text, "You purchased this book on February 14, 2011. Loan this book to anyone you choose."

3. Loan this book is a live link. Click on it and it will take you to the Loan This Book screen.

4. Fill in the recipient's email address. (Just check and make certain that their Kindle device is registered to that email.)

5. Fill out the rest of the form with their name and a personal message if you like. Then click Send now.

That's it!

Today's Progress

2012-02-08T15:14:00.000-05:00

Just a quick note as I scramble to catch up after a nasty bout of shingles (and yes, they are just as painful as people say.)

I finished another chapter in The Gramophone Society. My characters are developing nicely with little nudges from the author. I just won't let them form a Boy Boy Girl Triangle, since it has been done before, and I really do enjoy exploring female friendships.

However, Victor, the mysterious fellow with a strange drawing on his face, did lash out at Arthur, the guy who always follows the rules. In the melee, Arthur nearly fell into the Mouth, the bottomless cavern lined with sharp rocks that look like teeth.

The frustrating part of my day came when I searched for images of bathyspheres for the final book of my Crown Phoenix series, The South Sea Bubble. A bathysphere is a round ball that was used in the early 20th century to explore under the ocean. I've always thought they are beautiful and mysterious, and I want one! Or, at least, a picture of one for the cover of my book.

A Simpler Guide to Gmail

2012-02-06T08:28:00.000-05:00

Today's blog comes to us from Wales, courtesy of Ceri Clark. She is the author of several great books, including Children of the Elementi and the updated A Simpler Guide to Gmail.

First of all I would like to thank you allowing me to guest blog today.

The first edition of A Simpler Guide to Gmail was the second book I wrote. At the time there wasn't anything like it on Kindle, although now there are a couple more. Gmail made a whole slew of changes in late 2011 so I felt honour bound to write an updated version, hence the second edition.

You wouldn't believe the problems I had when the second edition was uploaded. I had to do a new one as the old copy had the wrong author name on (my maiden name) even though I had contacted Amazon a few times and it was top of all the search lists. Then I was selling the old version rather than the new one. But it is all settled now.

Pretty much everything changed since January 2011. I was expecting just to update parts but the whole look and feel changed so I had to update all the screen captures in the book.We said goodbye to Buzz, but hello to Google+ and there were some great new themes added as well as functions moving.

I have to say I absolutely love Gmail. I don't see any spam anymore, there is lots of space and it is integrated with other Google services and best of all my phone!

The feature I recommend above all is tagging. I love having my emails organised but in the old days I had to choose which folder an email had to go in. I like to think of myself as logical but when you have one email which can go into two or more folders, it can be awkward to find it later. With Gmail, it is so simple. If there is more than one subject I just tag the one email with all of the subjects that are relevant. There is still only the one email but I can find it in several places. If only I could tag my house keys the same way!

A Simpler Guide to Gmail is aimed at beginner to intermediate users but my husband, who is a techie, read it while it was being edited and even he learnt a couple of things. It's a step-by-step guide but I try to make it as chatty as I can. I just hate jargon!

At the moment A Simpler Guide to Gmail is only available on Amazon as it is part of the Kindle Select Program. That way, people can lend it to their friends if they want to share it.

So far it is going down well and hopefully Gmail won't change as much this year!

A Simpler Guide to Gmail can be found at: http://amzn.com/B006WRZGRM

Cool Stuff About Being a Writer

2012-02-04T13:06:00.000-05:00

I get to imagine stuff and have it come to "life" on my desktop.

Other writers send me their books and ask me to read them. That means I get amazing books for free, and better than that, I am allowed to watch the evolution of those cool books.

I have a fantastic cover artist who rocks my Kindle world.

I'm in a group of talented, dedicated people who help me out every single day.

Nightmares are cool now, because when I wake up in a sweat, I just think, "Hey! New novel idea!"

If my husband comments on my disheveled, pajamas-in-the-afternoon attire, I can silence him with my Novelist At Work stare.

My little Alternet universe is fueled with tea, wine, and chocolate.

I am never, ever bored. Seriously, I don't know what boredom is like. I've got movies in my head to watch, and I mean that in a very non-psycho killer way.

As I tap stuff out in the keyboard, I become one with a long line of writers. Maybe not Hemingway or Colette, but Edgar Rice Burroughs and Enid Blyton? Those are my peeps.

This just screams pulp fiction. Love it!!!!!!

See, I have to go and watch The Housewives of Beverly Hills. It's rich bitch research, dammit.

Ditto reading pulp fiction. All part of my job. Now, hand me my bon bons.

The Gramophone Society

2012-02-02T10:13:00.000-05:00

I'm about to go and write the next chapter of my new book, The Gramophone Society. I've stepped out of my comfort zone for this one, and that has given me the opportunity to do some really fun research.

The book is set in a system of tunnels under a castle during World War II. Evacuees are kept there by the unscrupulous Lady of the castle; while she feeds them and educates them, all underground, she uses them as well.

Plus there's a whole side plot about her heir, Victor, and a really nasty doctor with disturbing saying scrawled all over the walls of his office.

Enter my modern anti-heroine, Julia, who finds that the stairs to the attic now lead down into those tunnels during 1939. She has problems of her own: bulimia, for one, as well as a broken home.

In order to write the book I set up a HUGE story map.

It was a lot of fun to create and it keeps my concepts from running out the door as I nail them down.

I also had to create my castle:

and my system of tunnels:

I was stuck on my story for a bit until I found a great image for Victor. I wanted him to be beautiful but damaged. Here he is:

I had to add the facial tat and the shirt.

To further research, I went to the Edison Museum and looked at all the lovely gizmos there. It's pure analog heaven, and better than sex (sort of) for a steampunk / dieselpunk fiend like me.

Lovely old equipment from the Edison think tank

I also got my hands on two of my father-in-laws books. He was a engineer during WWII, and I got images from his Handbooks and his "Audell's New Automobile Guide." (This is a beautiful volume with a hand-tooled cover; I'm so lucky to have it!

I'm off to create the rest of this adventure. Time to get lost in the Tunnels again.

Holding out for the Anti-Hero

2012-01-31T08:58:00.001-05:00

Ross Kitson is in the house! He is the author of Dreams of Darkness Rising, the first volume of an incredible epic fantasy that I just can't wait to read. I've read his short stories, and they are amazing, and plus his book has MAPS. I'm a sucker for a map in a book, ever since Lord of the Rings.

One of the maps from Dreams of Darkness Rising

Ross works during the day as a consultant in Intensive Care and Anaesthesia at Tameside Hospital in Manchester. He is married with three lovely kids who soak up most of his free time. He writes his epic tales in the wee hours augmented with a combination of stella and red wine.

My genre is fantasy. I love it; have always loved it, ever since I could read. As a kid I was captivated by the total escapism of fantasy, by the idea of magic being a reality, by the virtues of the heroic struggling against insurmountable evils. It was a passion fueled by an adolescence dedicated to role playing games, tucked away in mates’ sheds and front rooms, for far too many hours until my complexion emulated Gollum on a bad-skin day.

So here’s a quandary. Given that many of us who read fantasy and sci-fi and all its sub-sub genres (Elfpunk anyone?) came into the genre loving tales of the great and good defeating the gibbering armies of The Dark ^Tm , how come the anti-hero is so pervasive in speculative fiction?

They’re everywhere! Take the most successful fantasy series of the last ten years—George RR Martin’s Song of Ice and Fire—it is replete with anti-heroes. Tyrion Lannister has to be the favourite character amongst a sea of schemers and blaggards. He’s selfish, rude, corrupt, bitter, in fact all the traits that make a great bad guy. Yet amongst his venom there are redeeming features that make us fascinated by him. By book two we love him and by the latest he’s more or less the only one (other than Arya) we care about.

Scott Lynch’s Gentleman Bastards series has Locke Lamora, a thief and a con-man as the main character. Here we have a different flavour of anti-hero. Whereas Tyrion is a nasty piece of work who occasionally displays redeeming features, Locke is actually an alright guy—he loves his friends etc.—who screws people over for a living. Like Robin Hood or the IRS. He’s a ‘hero’ who is also criminal.

And there’s so many more in fantasy that you wonder if we ever wanted true heroes. Severian in Gene Wolfe’s The Book of the New Sun (torturer…tick), Sand dan Glotka in Abercrombie’s The First Law books (yay, another torturer…tick), Thomas Covenant in Donaldson’s epic (rapist…tick), Cugel the Clever in Jack Vance’s Tales of the Dying Earth (thief, cheat, rake…tick), Raistlin in Dragonlance (black magic, betray brother…OK…tick), Fitz in Hobb’s Farseer trilogy (assassin? Hey, sure…beats looking after the horses…tick) and, of course, Elric.

Now Elric I did love as a kid. More accurately I coveted Stormbringer, the soul-drinking sword that Elric was dominated by. To a DnD player the idea of a sword that munched on opponents life energy (and therefore boosted your own) was fantastic. The weapon Black-razor in White Plume Mountain was an obvious copy and Elric even got his own RPG supplement for RuneQuest.

Elric and Stormbringer

Elric was the first great fantasy anti-hero in my mind. Before him we had the muscle bound might of Conan, the noble Aragorn and the almost biblical Aslan. In his very first appearance we meet him on the way to slaughter his own nation. He then further fails to impress us by wining about his doom-ridden destiny, betraying people all over the place, becoming addicted to a vampire-sword and then killing all his buddies one by one. Admittedly some he kills by accident, because he gets carried away with Stormbringer; but you’d still not add him as a friend on Facebook would you?

So why do we love them? These are characters that are far darker than the tough guys of the cinema. We all admire the surly Han Solo and love the hard as nails Clint Eastwood characters. But these are characters that are morally dubious, at times nasty and at times ruthless. They are killers, torturers, thieves—the sort most of us would eschew in reality. Why do we enjoy reading about them?

I think it’s the escapism in another form and I think therefore that that is why fantasy (the ultimate asylum from our troubled world) is replete with them. These are characters whose achievements within the books seem all the more admirable, characters that surpass all the faults and the weaknesses that they have, to become victorious. They are creations who resonate with us because of their flaws, which after all we all have (though perhaps not to the extent of these characters). Why should a being in a fantasy world have to have any less hang-ups than us?

Anti-heroes act in ways that appeal to our darker instincts. They allow us to slip away from the frustration of modern life and the constraints of society and unleash a bit of spite. Far better to read about Tyrion Lannister’s Machiavellian antics or Elric hoovering up a few souls than turn around and give our annoying bosses a head-butt on the nose.

And we can see characters every bit as flawed as ourselves and revel in the redemption that many achieve and know that for even the most screwed-up and damaged that there is hope.

So long live the anti-hero and remember even Aslan probably had some darker moments that were cut from the books. I fact I distinctly remember him hanging out with the Snow Witch sharing a crack-pipe…

In Another Lifetime ...

2012-01-30T16:35:00.000-05:00

...I will get that armband tattoo. I'm on the verge of hangy-down arm skin now, and to get a celtic symbol or barbed wire at this point would be wanna be-ish.

Looks good on HER, though.

I will work for the Peace Corps. I really meant to do it this go-round, but I somehow got too caught up with laundry, family functions, and my own inability to stand in direct sunlight without exploding into flames.

I'll write my books before I reach middle age, so I can be a Cool Young Artist, not a Comfortably Padded Mother Figure. People will sigh over the fact that I'm a prodigy instead of congratulating me for finding a hobby in my golden years.

My skiing ability will be much better, since I'll learn how when I'm three, not thirty.

Ditto skating, and every other sporting activity. Plus I'll be able to do the splits until I'm seventy.

I'll insist on Sunday mornings spent in the reading room (did I mention that I'll have a "reading room?") as I calmly read the Sunday papers, instead of forcing my child to wear anything other than a Hogwarts robe and flip flops to church.

My second-hand bookstore, the one with a large black cat asleep in the front bay window, will be well-established by the time I'm married so no one can talk me out of it.

I'll eat a lot more meringues. You can't get enough of those things.

Also Irish sausages.

The thing is, though, that probably I already made all these pledges to myself in my last lifetime. Still, I will definitely read more good books, and I'm going to fight for that second hand bookstore and that cat.

Speaking of good books, I have a great new author on my blog tomorrow. His name is Ross Kitson, and he'll guest blog here on Fresh Pot of Tea, on the subject of anti-heroes. (You know, those guys who are heroic but really flawed too, not all squeaky clean like Superman. I love those guys.)

He is the author of Dreams of Darkness Rising, a fantasy that has all kinds of cool surprises inside.

See you here!

Things I Do That I Really Should Not Do

2012-01-26T20:50:00.000-05:00

1. Watch The Housewives of Beverly Hills. You know, when I was a college student and I had just finished a round of brutal exams, I needed total zombie TV, and by that I mean: stuff that would not, even accidentally, make me think. Back in the day that was Love Boat and Fantasy Island. Now after a week of getting my kid to do math homework (just as brutal as any exam) THOBH fills that spot for me quite nicely, thank you.

Plus, I like to have conversations with the girls in my head. "Hi, Lisa! How the hell do you stay upright on those shoes?"

2. Eat Crispy Bacon potato chips. You can only get them in Ireland and the UK, and even there the Crispy Bacon flavor packets are few and far between. When I see a bag, I'll fight to get there first and scarf it down as if I'd been starved for a week.*

3. Read Twilight - NO, it's not Melville. In fact, it's literary crack. I'm hooked. So stake me.

4. Lust after a certain jailbait actor. *Cough* Rupert Grint *Cough* Old enough to be his mother *cough*

5. Continue to buy frozen cherries even when they cost nearly 5$ for a small bag. I have to have them for breakfast with my yogurt. HAVE to.

6. Tap my toe along to the most vapid tune ever written. That is correct; I've been known to hum to "I Love You Like A Love Song, Baby." Couldn't help it. Is it so bad it's good? We may never know.

7. Play computer games right after I put my kid to bed. No, not Skyrim nor WoW, but that's only because I know, if I started playing those games, I would be so hooked I couldn't stop. I do have some boundaries.

*perhaps I opened out the bag and licked it afterwards. This is a confessional, after all.

Shared a Good Book Lately?

2012-01-25T09:11:00.000-05:00

(Johanna Garth is the author of Losing Beauty, a modern retelling of the Persephone / Hades myth. I loved the piece she wrote for today, and she agreed to let me post a teaser on my blog.)

Have you heard about the Amazon Prime lending program?

It works like this. Say, for example, you buy a copy of Losing Beauty, read it and recommend it to a friend. In this example your friend also has a Kindle. You can then, with a click of a button, lend Losing Beauty to your friend. From that point on the friend has fourteen days to read it (anecdotal evidence leads me to believe most readers of Losing Beauty take about three days to finish so fourteen days could almost be called excessive) ;) At the end of the fourteen days the book is returned to you, voila! So simple!!

This new lending program is Amazon's attempt to make books on people's ereaders as lendable as the ones on their shelves. Which, in my opinion, is very cool.

If you want to lend a book that you've purchased here's how to do it in four easy steps:

(Find out the rest at Losing Sanity)

Not the Block!!!!

2012-01-23T10:49:00.001-05:00

It happened this morning. I saw my kid onto the bus and went to prepare myself for a day of writing. Now, I need to grab a shower, get dressed, even put on makeup before I sit at the keyboard. That's just the way I roll.

As I poufed on my Blush Minerals (Stop n Shop brand) a sudden thought hit me: What if I can't write today?

For a writer, that's the nightmare. You have this voice, and the fear that it might stop speaking is a dreadful one. It's the fear that this gift might be taken away.

Perhaps it hit me because I'm getting close to working on the fourth and final book in my Crown Phoenix series. The third book is done, and soon I'll start the last chapter in the adventures of Miriam, Riki, Simon, Neil, and Mana. To have to say goodbye to them and their little world makes my breath catch in my throat.

Perhaps it's because I'm in the middle of writing a new book at the moment, The Gramophone Society. It's a stand-alone work, it's quite historical, and it requires a lot of untangling and careful planning.

I suppose there is only way to overcome all this: get my butt in that chair and start typing away.

Okay then.

Devil's Kitchen

2012-01-19T08:52:00.000-05:00

Here is the book trailer for Devil's Kitchen, part 2 in the Crown Phoenix series:

The Ups and Downs of Music

2012-01-18T10:41:00.001-05:00

My kid is seriously getting into music. She joined the choir, and she discovered iTunes.

We are thrilled about both things. Seeing her in that group of little kids, all singing away, is great. However, as much as I'd like to think I've birthed the next Adele, my kid can't sing. She is tone deaf. Her pitch has Ceased to Be, if it ever lived at all.

Still, it's all good. We wear earmuffs to church and smile and nod.

Now, about the iTunes thing: my husband and I are huge music lovers. We used to go to concerts all the time, in the era Before Kid. Back in the day, I'd throw on my ripped jeans and safety pins and go and see Iggy Pop, or the Ramones, or David Bowie. For Hub, the band of choice was always E-Street. Bruuuuuuuuuuce!

So, I'm happy to listen to real, adult music with my child. She loves Beyonce, and Katy Perry, and Lady Gaga, so our music tastes don't quite mesh, but again: it's all good.

The problem comes when I actually listened to the lyrics of some of the songs out there. In fact, some of the bubble gummiest, poppiest songs are all about drinking and going to parties way after hours and having a menage a trois while you're at it. I'm looking at you, Ke$ha.

Now, I'm not a hater, hatin on Ke$ha. Obviously it's working for her. However, it's a tough choice to make: Allow kid to listen to that song or Don't allow. My daughter, after all, is only in second grade!

So, should I tell her, There's no way you're going to listen to that noise? or do I let her listen to only the clean versions? And what, exactly, is the clean version of a song called "Promiscuous?"

The choice should seem simple: protect my kid at all costs. Here's the thing though. When I was in seventh grade, my parents listened to nothing but classical music. (That's not quite true, we did have that one Simon and Garfunkel album from Mom's beatnik phase.)

As a result, I listened to nothing but classical music. And, one day, in Music class, the cool music teacher handed out crossword puzzles all about rock musicians and songs by Led Zeppelin, Lynyrd Skynyrd....

I didn't know the answer to a single clue. Not one. I turned in a blank paper. And I've never forgotten that.

So, I'd like her to be able to listen to music, the kind her friends all seem to have on their iPods. I've insisted on a few rules: Stick with the clean versions, stay away from songs that glorify abusive behavior, and approach everything with a sensible point of view.

My daughter asked me, after I had to ban a certain song from her playlist, "Mommy, why do so many songs have bad words in them?"

"I don't know, sweetie," I replied. "I just don't know."

The Drive In

2012-01-17T17:30:00.002-05:00

My friends and I used to love the drive-in. There were several necessary items for a truly great night there:

An old fashioned beach chair, the kind with really creaky joints that looked like squashed foil.

A newspaper, for finding the very worst horror movies showing,

Old blankets.

My girlfriend's VW beetle

The newspaper (it was always the Daily Local News) came first. We looked for real dreck to watch, and the 70's served up plenty of it. We're talking shows like "Humongous," "Swamp Thing, and "Killdozer."

Now that I think about it, Swamp Thing was a bit too classy for our tastes. We needed stuff that was so bad it was good, that we could provide alternate lines for during the show, with really really really cheesy effects.

We paid, parked up on the hill, and dragged out the fraying lawn chairs. The movie would start, and we yukked it up to our heart's content, laughing and being loud with no fear of annoying "serious moviegoers."

As the night grew chilly, we'd pull out the old blankets and huddle under them.

At that point, one movie would end, and we experienced the very best part of going to drive ins:

REALLY BAD COMMERCIALS FOR THE DRIVE IN SNACK BAR

Yes, complete with purplish cinematic tones, dudes in polyester slacks chowing down on hot dogs and tacos, and unlikely looking tykes with missing teeth and corkscrew curls receiving drinks with a heckuva lot of ice. Plus, sometimes there was a song to go with it all that glory! Heaven!

The second movie would start, the classier one. We would chat and get all teen angsty and stuff and say how philosophical Swamp Thing was and how it was a metaphor for Man's Inability to Get Along With Nature or some such.

At that point, my sister usually fell asleep.

The crickets chirpped, the mosquitos bit in droves, and the honeysuckle hung on the air. We laughed and folded up the chairs, stuffed them in the back of the VW, roused my sister, and we all drove to Denny's.

Is there anything better than that? There are still drive ins around, I hear, and you can pack the family in and plan a trip to see one in a few last holdouts.

Bet they won't be able to see Killdozer, though.

The Art of Meditation

2012-01-11T14:09:00.000-05:00

After I read Eat, Pray, Love I thought, Right. It's time for me to get down to business with this meditation stuff. I actually attempted to sit in a chair and turn my mind off. Here's what happens when I attempt it:

"Oh, ok, must think of nothing now. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Of course, thinking the word Nothing is not Nothing. Clear mind. OK. Wonder what I'll serve for dinner? Oh, shoot; i forgot to wash my daughter's uniform!"

*Pause as I race to do laundry*

Half an hour later, back in chair. "NOW I'm ready. Bring on the thoughtlessness! Shutting down brain. That episode of American Horror Story was good, wasn't it? The ending was a bit disappointing, but I'll be interested to see how they pick up next season..."

Or, if I do succeed in complete brain shut off, here's what happens: Zzzzzzzzz.

There are people out there who can meditate. I've seen them do it. When I was in the Unitarian Fellowship, one teacher hooked us up to a bio feedback machine as we attempted meditation. My friend got hooked up, and the machine gave a few beeps, and then: silence. Blam. Meditative state achieved.

When they slapped those wires on me, the machine was all, "Beep! Beepity Beep BEEEEEEP!!!!" It sounded like rush hour on the CBE.

I've found that I achieve a out of body state, though, when I write. It doesn't happen every day. Sometimes I have to force the words to come out. But there are times when the scene is going really well, and I just, well, disappear. I'm in the world with my characters. I dimly hear the clicks of my fingers on my keys, as I type as quickly as I can to get it all down.

That's my meditative state.

I read a few days ago that writers, despite low incomes, are some of the happiest people around. I don't know if that is true. I do know that when I'm in that flow, it's a deeply satisfying experience. And when I'm not writing, I really look forward to getting back to my alternate world.

The Beauty of Rare Things

2012-01-05T13:39:00.001-05:00

Some things don't appear that often, and when they do they are lovely. Here are a few that make my heart bound when I see them:

1. A package covered with brown paper, string, and loads of stamps.

2. That orange light you see on a late afternoon of a sunny day in the summer.

3. The taste of chocolate in advent calendars.

4. The first book of a really good series.

5. A cat that is all grey and has those really big paws. It's even better if it is in the "baked bread" position.

6. The sound of a kid's belly laugh.

7. That moment when you catch a perfect wave with your boogie board and sail in to the beach.

8. Skiing down a hill in perfect powder on a sunny day.

9. The smell of old fashioned, home made potpourri...

10. And home made wine, especially Elderflower champagne.

11. Opening the door to your cozy hotel room, where you will be spending the weekend with a really great friend.

12. The crackle of an outside fire and the trail the sparks leave in the dark.

13. The smell of an old map.

Cool Movies Coming Out in 2012

2012-01-04T16:20:00.000-05:00

Darn it, Harry Potter has ended (except for the millions of times that we'll watch the DVD's in a DeLuca family HP festival) and there aren't any more instalments to look forward to this year.

Still, there are some cool movies coming out in 2012, and here are a few that I'd like to see:

1. The Hobbit : This was one of my first favorite books, ever. I read it and reread it, loving the dwarves and the songs and the way Bilbo Baggins, who was such a homebody at the start, turned into a gifted "burglar." Okay, it doesn't come out until December, but with Peter Jackson at the helm, I'll be waiting, popcorn in hand.

2. While I anticipate Smaug, I'll watch John Carter, the movie of the American soldier who time travels to Mars. I loved these books by Edgar Rice Burroughs, and I'll hope for a series, that will maybe include my favorite, Thuvia, Maid of Mars. (I love all types of Pulp Fiction. Mm Hm. *nods*)

3. Since I can't have Harry Potter, how about Daniel Radcliffe in a ghost story, The Woman in Black? Oh yes please. While we're at it, can somebody please put Rupert Grint in another film? That would be just great.

4. Fresh out in January, ready for the new year,we have The Divide. I wonder, will I be able to watch this extremely disturbing movie of a group of survivors in a basement, after a nuclear event? I don't know if I can, especially since there is a child involved. Nope, don't think I can do it. Although, if it was a book I'd read it; since I survived The Road (Horrifying but fantastic,) I can read anything.

Naaaaaaaah

5. Dorothy of Oz, coming in April: I read as many Oz books as I could when I was a kid, and this animated version looks pretty cool.

6. Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter: I love it. There's no guesswork involved with that title.

8. The Hunger Games: Hurray! It's the start of a new addictive series! I'm saved!

Coming soon: Books to read in 2012

My New Year's Steampunk Resolutions

2011-12-30T19:15:00.001-05:00

This year I will:

Acquire a real pair of goggles.

Learn the specs for a sentient automaton.

Discover the working boundaries for my Crown Phoenix typewriter that is really a quantum computer, and then push beyond them.

Develop a set of maps for The Night Watchman Express and the entire Crown Phoenix series. Because there is nothing like a book that comes with a map (see: Narnia, Middle Earth etc.)

Bring out Devil's Kitchen in print.

Finish the edit on The Lamplighter's Special, book three in the Crown Pheonix series.

Decide on the title for the final book in the series. (I'm leaning towards The South Sea Bubble or In His Majesty's Post, what do you think?)

Caricature of The South Sea Bubble

Write The South Sea Bubble (or In His Majesty's Post.)

Develop some Cogs and Gears Wine, or some Clockworks Brewery Ale. Or maybe just some Airship Pastries. Because why not?

Somehow meet this gentleman:

Book Food: Miranda Warning

2011-12-29T15:54:00.003-05:00

There is something about books that makes me hungry. The act of reading just seems to go naturally with a pot of tea, of course, as well as a plate of scones and some finger sandwiches.

There are books out there that strengthen this connection. One obvious culprit is Dickens. His characters are always going off on picnics complete with pork pies, cold cider, and rounds of cheese. One of my favorite descriptions of his is his "curiously light wine, with a curiously heavy cake."

Another book that makes me hungry is Miranda Warning. I'm almost at the end (reading it slowly so it will last; I'm going to hate being finished) and I love the gorgeous descriptions of food. The book, a murder mystery, is set in Texas, so there is plenty of RC cola, banana whoopie pies, as well as buttery croissants and delicious coffee drinks.

Miranda, the main character, is just as delicious. She is a bit overweight (who wouldn't be, with all that food) and works in a run down law office where her boss often falls asleep on the floor. She has to learn to maneuver her rolling chair carefully so she won't squash his hand.

She is also a sax player in a local band, and one of her band mates gets bumped off in the beginning. The way that Miranda investigates the murder is funny and well written and completely believable. Oh, and there's a romance, too, and it is delicious as well.

To be honest, I'm not a huge murder mystery fan, but I'm enjoying this book with a great deal of delight. It should be savored, like a whoopie pie, for its flavor and creamy filling.

Getting Malled

2011-12-28T09:38:00.001-05:00

NOT what I looked like at the mall.

Yesterday my kid and I sashayed out to the mall, and I learned several things:

1. Those people who own the kiosk with the iPodTouch covers just outside the Apple store might as well be printing money right now. Thirty two dollars for a crummy plastic case with fake bling? Who's going to pay that? Oh, I am? Oh, okay.

2. If you buy your kid a toy for the stocking because said toy was really cheap on sale and you thought you were being slick, be prepared to go back and buy the ten other things at full price that you need to work that toy.

3. Plop a peace sign and glitter on anything, and a seven year old girl will want to buy it.

4. There are a lot of other people sashaying out to the mall, and parking spaces are quite scarce. I might as well have driven to a Katy Perry concert and expected to buy a ticket at the window as park my truck. Did I do that annoying thing where I followed an unsuspecting couple with bags in their arms to their car because they "looked done," and they "didn't have a stroller?" Maybe.

5. Did I say Katy Perry concert? Monster High dolls are like gold dust right now. Need a Zhu Zhu pet, though (that wind up hamster that I spent hours looking for two years ago? They are giving them away, I tell you.)

6. It is really, really important to keep a child fed with starchy foods. Otherwise, apparently, they do this alter ego thing that makes other shoppers look at you with the Oh There Is The Worst Parent In The World glare.

I hope that you have gleaned something from this, unless unlike me, you are sane and refuse to set foot in any sort of shopping area until January 2.

J.R.R. Tolkien and Christmas

2011-12-24T10:37:00.001-05:00

One of my favorite Christmas books is by Tolkien. That's right, the Eye of Sauron guy. Like many wonderful children's books, Letters from Father Christmas was written as a series of letters to Tolkien's children, as if Father Christmas himself had written them.

They started in 1920. And for twenty two more years, Tolkien sent the letters, each one illustrated and written in Father Christmas's signature shaky handwriting. In 1921 the North Polar Bear, or NDP, began to add to the letters. The Bear always got into mischief and ended up being scolded by Father Christmas.

In 1936 the elf secretary Ilbereth entered. He and the other elves had to ward off Goblin attacks, so Tolkien had begun to incorporate Middle Earth concepts.

Throughout you can see hints of Tolkien family life. Father Christmas explains why the children won't receive that expensive gifts they requested (the NPB switched the labels or fell down the stairs on top of them) which gives us an idea of the parents' worries. That he did so in such a creative, satisfactory way is just another testament to his imagination and genius.

Last Minute Gifts, or: Oh, I See What You Did There

2011-12-21T12:08:00.000-05:00

HELP! It's Christmas this weekend. Heck, it's Hannukah right NOW!

Need a last minute gift item? How about one of these babies? At last, the finger shaped ear and nose hair trimmer. Its tagline really is "The Perfect Pick!"

Rudolf poops out candies with a mere touch.

Pajama pants that look like jeans: because acid washed just isn't dweeby enough already.

Anything that has been promoted by or has even been in the same room with Tony Little.

Whatever this is. There are some things you just can't unsee.

Any Christmas sweater ever made.

Hey, here's an idea: there are tons of Indie authors out there who write fantastic books, and you can pick them up for a buck or three! Why don't you add a comment here with a link to one of your favorite Indie books? And, shoppers, you don't even need gas to buy them. I'm talking instant delivery.

The Adventures of Tintin

2011-12-19T13:52:00.001-05:00

I for one look forward to the Tintin movie. I've always been a Tintin buff, and here is why:

1. The characters. Tintin himself is such an original creation. He is between a teen and an adult, and his closest relationship is with his dog, Snowy, and his friend Captain Haddock. That's it. No girlfriend, no love interest at all, in fact.

Then there is the Captain, who is always on the lookout for whiskey or his pipe. Plus, he has a wonderful way with curse words. No drat or dang for him; no, Captain Haddock is all:

No one does Anger like the Captain.

And Snowy the dog, who at times has a wonderful continuing conversation with the readers. My daughter loves him.

I can relate

2. The adventures: My favorite was always Red Rackham's Treaasure, and it is featured prominently in the movie! Hurray! There is a treasure search, underwater explorations, pirates, and a submarine that looks like a shark. YESSS.

3. The art: Herge, the author and artist of the Tintin stories, was an incredible draftsman. His neat, detailed drawings are not only beautiful but also advance the story.

4. OK, here's the rub: The books aren't all PC. In fact, some of them are pretty darn UN correct. Alas, Herge was a product of his times and used cultural stereotypes that were simply appalling. I refuse to read, for example, Tintin in the Congo. Not only is it dreadful, socially, but it's one of the weakest Tintin stories.

5. Now that I've made that point, back to the adventure. If you never have read a Tintin book, do yourself a favor and read The Secret of the Unicorn or Cigars of the Pharoah or Explorers on the Moon or The Castafiore Emerald. And let me know if you plan to see the movie.

The Month of December

2011-12-16T09:31:00.000-05:00

I'd really like to know what happened to Time.

When I was a kid, the month between Thanksgiving took forever. I went back to school after Turkey Day and knew I was in for the long haul before the Big Day itself.

I went to the store and got gifts for the family. Mom was an professor and a hippy, so that meant a trip to The Importer, a huge barn that was filled with unique stuff from all over the world, including a parrot from Africa. Whenever you walked by, he would say, "Oh, look, Frank, it's the parrot."

I wore a stocking cap, just like that kid in The Christmas Story, and I wrapped my gifts with about five rolls of tape. Dad read A Christmas Carol out loud to us and I read The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus, ad old fashioned story by Julie Lane. I still get all teary at the last chapter.

Snow would come, lots of snow. We shoveled and built snowmen. But better than that, the Sears Wishbook arrived, and my sister and I spent hours pouring over the pages. Tumblestones! Twiggy Barbies! Chitty Chitty Bang Bang! Doctors' Kits! It was the very, very best of times.

I don't know what happened. How did that magical time eclipse on itself and become a mere fragment? I swear I was just serving turkey a split second ago. And now, horrors, Christmas is next week!!!!

American Horror Story

2011-12-15T10:22:00.000-05:00

Because nothing says Christmas like a good horror show, I'm confessing my new addiction here. I have been watching American Horror Story since the pilot, and I am thoroughly hooked.

Here's why:

1. The writers. Always the most important part of any show. You can have great actors, but if the writing component isn't there, the series falls apart (alas, I'm talking to you, Pan Am. You SHOULD have been good, with Christina Ricci and 60's air stewardesses all, but - BOOORRRING!!!)

On AHS, the writers take chances. They keep the action and the characters growing, at a pace that make me wonder how long they can keep it up. The scary stuff keeps appearing, from Rubberman to the Infantata, to the past inhabitants of the creepy, gorgeous LA mansion.

Vivien

2. The characters. Terrific actors are very important. Connie Britton's take on Vivien Harmon is my favorite of the bunch, although she has some stiff competition with Tate , played by Evan Peters, and Taissa Farmiga as Violet, Vivien's daughter. In fact, Farmiga's depiction of a troubled, intelligent high school girl is one of the most amazing performances I've seen in a while.

Violet

3. The opening music. And sequence. Watch it and you just know that the show is going to be seriously creepy. Disturbingly so, in fact.

4. No holds barred. Those amazing writers happily take on gay relationships, the Black Dahlia, current anti-government sentiment, and even the current state of the housing market, and do so in a way that is completely fascinating. And creepy and disturbing.

5. Dylan McDermott's butt - Not a huge Dylan fan, but he is showing some serious acting chops here, plus he has no problem showing his butt off. A lot.

No, I'm not going to put up an image of that here. It's Fresh Pot of Tea, after all, not Large Bottle of Jack.

If you enjoy ghosts and horror fiction, then check the show out. Be prepared for adult content and some jolts to the system. (Did I mention creepy and disturbing?) But I haven't seen scary TV like this in a while.

Christmas Cookies, Part Deux: Marzipan Macaroons

2011-12-14T09:35:00.000-05:00

Another very easy type of cookie is the macaroon. Not the "clumps of coconut" kind of macaroon, the kind that is made of crushed almonds and is baked into a fragrant, sugary, crunchy biscuit.

The recipe makes about 20 cookies, which is not enough, since my family shovels them down like potato chips. But they are so easy that you can always throw in another batch.

Marzipan Macaroons

1 tube Odense Marzipan
2 egg whites
2/3 cup granulated sugar
parchment paper
baking spray

Preheat the oven to 325. Line two cookie sheets with the parchment, and spray.

Into a mixing bowl, chop the tube of marzipan (I just carve chunks out of it with a knife.) Plop in the whites and the sugar, and mix until pretty smooth.

Standing mixers are best, since you can now walk away and get out some red and green sugar to sprinkle on top of the cookies. Halved almonds look nice on them too.

Spoon the mix onto prepared cookie sheets, by the teaspoonful. Top, if desired, with the colored sugar.

Bake for 15 to 20 minutes. The cookies should look brown around the edges and the top should start to crackle.

Take out, cool for a bit, and slide onto a rack. Cool completely and store / eat / hide from your in laws.

You know what is perfect with these cookies? A Fresh Pot of Tea, that's what.

Christmas Cookies part 1: Chocolate Covered Oreos

2011-12-13T09:46:00.000-05:00

On Saturday we had a party to go to. A real party, not the kind with bouncy castles and face paint. Like, get a babysitter and put on heels and drink vodka deal.

My Italian mother in law, God rest her soul, instilled in me the idea that one can never show up without a hostess gift. So I knew I had to make cookies to bring along. But I also knew I had zero time to make said cookies.

Enter the super fast, speedy, it's-not-quite-cheating recipes. Which I shall share with you, since I love my readers so. Today, chocolate covered oreos; tomorrow, Marzipan Macaroons.

Chocolate Covered Oreos

(For some reason, these make everyone gasp and stretch their eyes. I can slave over rolled out sugar cookies for hours, but it is the oreos that get everyone all riled up.)

Ingredients:
1 bag of Oreos
1 bag of Ghirardelli 60% Cacao chocolate chips
Crisco
1 cup of white chocolate chips

******

Line a baking tray with wax paper.

Pour the bag of dark chocolate chips in a microwavable bowl. Add a tablespoon or so of Crisco. Nuke for a minute, stir, then nuke at 30 second intervals alternating with stirring until the chocolate is smooth and melted. Don't nuke it too much, or it will burn and turn into a yucky clumpy ball of gunk.

With a fork, dunk the oreos one at a time in the chocolate mixture, tapping to release extra. Put on the prepared, lined tray and shove them in the fridge.

While they set, fit a disposable piping bag with a small tip icing nozzle. Fill the bag with the cup of white chocolate chips and another Tbl of Crisco. (If you don't have any of that icing stuff, you can use a fork to drizzle white chocolate over the tops of the oreos. It's just as impressive, and people will eat them just as happily.)

When the cookies are set in the fridge (about 10 - 20 minutes) nuke the piping bag or bowl of white chocolate for 1 minute and then 30 secoond intervals. Stir the bowl or squish the bag to stir.

Either pipe desings on the dark chocolate with the bag. Spirals make people go, "Oooooooh." Or drizzle, as I've said before. If you add some drague´es, that's impressive too. (Drague´es = fancy word for those little silver balls that chefs use to decorate cakes and cookies and truffles and stuff.)

Pop back in the fridge for another twenty minutes.

Throw flour on your face to make them think you've been breaking your back in the kitchen, and serve.

Farsighted, by Emlyn Chand

2011-12-11T22:13:00.001-05:00

Emlyn Chand, author of Farsighted

I simply could not be more excited to have Emlyn Chand visiting today for an author interview, here at Fresh Pot of Tea. Emlyn just published Farsighted through the Novel Publicity imprint. She says she has "always loved to hear and tell stories, having emerged from the womb with a fountain pen grasped firmly in her left hand (true story)."

First, tell us about Farsighted, your new book.

Farsighted tells the story of Alex Kosmitoras. Here’s my mini teaser: Alex Kosmitoras may be blind, but he can still “see” things others can’t. When his unwanted visions of the future begin to suggest that the girl he likes could be in danger, he has no choice but to take on destiny and demand it reconsider.

The main character, Alex, is blind. How did you research his world?

I read books about coping with blindness in a school setting and spent a great deal of time pondering how I might behave if I couldn’t see. In the story, Alex has always been blind; he’s always known the world to be a certain way. Not everyone understands that, and they have trouble talking about it with him. I gave Alex a tendency to overcompensate. He knows who he is and what he’s capable of, and he wants the world to know it too, so sometimes he overdoes things a bit.

Tell me about Simmi. It sounds like she was a lot of fun to create.

My husband is from India, and ever since we first met, I can’t help but write Indian characters. Simmi is very true to Indian culture in that she is polite and reverent and very sweet. She is sometimes a little fake, however, but Alex is so smitten with her he just can’t tell.

Available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

Your book has a bit of a paranormal touch to it. What were the rewards and challenges of adding that element?

One thing I hear from readers quite a bit is that the paranormal seems normal in Farsighted. They don’t question the existence of the powers, and it doesn’t seem out there like some other books of the genre do. That was important to me. I wanted my story to be run by the characters, not the fantastic elements. This is a story about Alex, not about a blind psychic.

You have a great online presence! Can you tell us about your other web ventures?

Why, thank you. My “day job” is working as a social media book marketer. I founded my own company, Novel Publicity, earlier this year, and it’s taken off incredibly fast! Marketing Farsighted has been a full-time job on top of a full-time job. I’ve definitely devoted a great deal of man power into my campaign, because I have no limits. I’ve spent an enormous amount of time and energy recruiting bloggers for my launch, and I have over 200, thank you :-)

I’m also hiring 6 other blog tour companies to tour my book over the next couple months—getting buzz early on is crucial! I’ve had a good amount of luck with GoodReads pay-per-click advertising too. I’m also taking out advertising on targeted websites like Parajunkee.com and Night Owl, which cater to fans of my genre, and Kindle Nation Daily and The Frugal eReader, which cater to a mass of eBook lovers. I’ve even taken it off the web and created some Farsighted-themed swag. I’m most proud of my postcards. Readers can request an autographed postcard by filling out a simple form on my website. It’s a fun way to connect with readers that is memorable and only costs me a quarter.

Finally, could you give us an excerpt from your book to intrigue the readers?

Sure. Here’s a scene with Simmi that I call Almost Kiss...

Simmi and I arrive at this rally point together from Mrs. Warszynski’s to wait for Shapri. Several minutes go by. I want to suggest we leave without her but don’t think that’ll score me any points with Simmi.

“You didn’t want Shapri to come tonight, did you?” Simmi asks.

“Well, I—no, I mean, it’s fine. I’m glad she could come,” I sputter.

“You’re such a horrible liar,” Simmi teases, pushing me playfully.

“Hey, that’s not fair. I can’t hit you back. You’re a girl.”

“I’m just teasing you.” Simmi blows a raspberry and pulls her body up onto the circular wall surrounding the flagpole area. I hesitate before pulling myself up too. Simmi scootches over so we touch at the hip. She loops her hand through the crook of my arm and places her head on my shoulder. “I never would have gotten away with this in India,” she says. “But I’m glad I can here. I’m a psychic feeler. I need to be in touch with others.” She pauses and strokes my arm with her free hand. “You know, when I touch someone I can make them feel what I want them to, but I can also sense their existing emotions. It’s almost the same as being able to read minds. Everything important has to do with the heart, not logic.” She lightens her tone. “But don’t tell Dr. Brown I said that, he’d take marks off of my next chem exam out of spite.”

I laugh nervously. Is she like Miss Teak in a way? Can she read my feelings for her? If she can, why hasn’t she said anything? I contemplate reaching over and kissing her, so I can know for sure how she feels. But I’ve never kissed anyone before. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to initiate it. Do I take her out for dinner and a movie first? Or make some lengthy speech declaring my intentions? Do I kiss her, just like that? Or do I ask for her permission before making my big move?

I decide to ask if it’s okay. Simmi is a classy girl. She needs respect. I swallow, hoping the motion will open up my airway, because right now, I’m kind of having trouble catching my breath. “Simmi,” I start.

“Yeah, Alex?” She lifts her head and links her hand in mine, nudging her slender fingers in between each of mine.

“Would it be okay if I…”

“There you two are!” Shapri says, running over to us, panting heavily. “I thought we were meeting in the commons.”

“No, we agreed on the flagpole,” Simmi says, hopping down from the wall.

The moment is gone. I don’t know when I’ll get the chance and the nerve again. My opinion of Shapri transforms from cautious indifference into outright hatred. Why did she invite herself along?

Shapri clears her throat. “Did I—Did I interrupt something here? Maybe a little romance?”

“What? No, no,” Simmi says shaking her head adamantly. “Nothing like that, Alex is like a brother to me.”

Ouch. Pain. Stabbed in my heart. I’m like a brother to her? I guess this means romance is off the table…

Super Awesome Book Trailer! ^^^^

You can follow Emlyn and her book Farsighted on her author website, Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads, Google+, and on her Novel Publicity site.

*EMLYN WILL BE GIVING A 50 DOLLAR AMAZON GIFT CARD TO ONE RANDOMLY SELECTED COMMENTER DURING THE TOUR!*

Water

2011-12-10T18:01:00.001-05:00

I remember reading a story about the search for the most delicious thing in the world. What would it be? Apple pie with vanilla icecream, roast lamb, carrot soup, a perfect cheese souffle?

The point of the story was that if you can't find it, the most delicious thing in the world is pure water. And for many people out there, they have to faucet, no resource to instant, running, clean H2O.

Samaritan's Purse is one organization that works to bring water to those who don't have access. In Haiti, in Africa, they bring access, wells, and ship bottled water to families and kids who need it.

Try spending a day without drinking, and you'll see just how delicious water can be. Ever been in a car or on a train with no drinks? That first swallow is so sweeeeeet. Now imagine living in a country where you have to walk a mile or two for fresh water, or where you have to line up for bottled water.

Connie J. Jasperson, along with some of the other writers at Fantasy Island Book Publishing, has collected an anthology of stories by the FIBP writers. All proceeds go to the Samaritan's Purse water project to help those in need around the globe. I have two stories in there; one is a horror short and the other is a prequel to The Night Watchman Express.

Find it here: http://amzn.to/StoryAntho

So again, if you have some spare change in the glove compartment, your coat pocket, or behind the sofa cushions, please consider spending it on a collection of shorts. It'll help some people at the same time.

*EDITED TO ADD - THIS COLLECTION INCLUDES MATURE LANGUAGE AND THEMES.*

Jingle Jingle

2011-12-08T08:30:00.001-05:00

I heard yesterday on the news that someone popped a diamond ring into one of those kettles manned by bell ringers. This followed the news over the weekend that another generous soul had given them a huge gold coin, a rare one, for the eighth year in a row.

Wouldn't you love to be able to do that? What a wonderful feeling, to stuff all that largesse in a kettle and just walk away. The afterglow has to be superb. Those gift givers must feel like that scene in Ghost, when Oda Mae Brown puts a check worth millions into the hands of a nun.

Alas, I don't have diamond rings cluttering up the place, nor gold coins, nor checks worth millions, so I have to resort to smaller means.

Oh, I just want to support so many good causes. I think that the ability to be able to be able to do some real good for a charity or a group of people is the ultimate luxury. Forget the Neiman Marcus customizable cupcake car.

Don't know if I can quite pull this off...

So, here is what I could do, though: I collected two books and two stories for kids, and put them in one collection, and donated the royalties to Oxfam. One book is by me, and it's about getting coal for Christmas. Except, of course, coal from the North Pole is magic...

The other book is by Shaun Allan, the creator of Sin and Zits n Bits. He donated Rudolf Saves Christmas, a story that is a holiday version of Hoodwinked, where Rudolf is sent to jail.

Connie J Jasperson wrote the Christmas Tree, a sci fi story about Santa finding a family in space (I LOVE that concept!)

And Nicole Antonia Carson donated The List, a tale of a girl who has to defend her Goodness in the North Pole court. Nicole does a lot on the stage, so it's no surprise that her story is very visual and very, very funny.

Finally, my cover artist, Lisa Daly, donated the sweet little girl and her toes for the cover:

http://amzn.to/XmasOClock

My thanks to all those authors and to Lisa for their very, very generous donations. They are worth so much more to me than a cupcake car, or even Oda Mae's check.

If you have 99 cents rattling around in your purse, or behind the sofa cushions, will you consider buying this collection of stories? They are all G rated and a lot of fun, and they are available on Kindle. And all of the proceeds go to help families and kids through Oxfam's international efforts.

Now I wish I could ring a bell for you. But I will say: Thanks so very much!

Voyage of Discovery : Completing My First Novel, by Carlie Cullen

2011-12-06T07:05:00.001-05:00

(Today I have handed the house keys to Carlie Cullen, my fellow author in Essex. It is with a great deal of admiration and pride that I present this blogpost from the author of Heart Search, a story about Remy, who is looking for her missing fiancee, and Joshua, who is something quite different and strange. It sounds like an amazing book, and I can't wait for her to edit it and publish!) And go and check out her cool blog as well; I'm hiding over there today! A.D.

I have made a real voyage of discovery. It took me nine months, three hundred and twenty nine pages, one hundred and fifty thousand four hundred and forty one words and at the end of it was my first completed novel!

“Heart Search : Lost”, the first book in the “Heart Search” trilogy was nothing short of a labour of love. It was my first real attempt at a full-length novel and like a lot of writers starting out, I really wasn’t sure I had the ability/imagination/skill to write more than short stories. In addition, I had doubts that anything I wrote would be worth another person’s time and effort to read.

I’d had the idea for the novel (it was only going to be one at the start) buzzing around in my head for a couple of months before I committed to trying to write anything. The more I thought about the possible plots, the more the characters began to grow in my mind and in my heart. I knew I had to tell their tale – it was too important to them not to – and so I began creating it in September 2010.

After planning my characters and story synopsis, I plotted the first twelve chapters and began the story. As I started tapping away on my keyboard, something strange happened – the story took on a life all its own. It was like I was a channel for the words that just appeared as if from nowhere. The chapter plot went out the window and I had no option but to just flow with the current. The story took me in directions I hadn’t considered and it all seemed to work, even though I had two stories running parallel to each other; one written in first person, the other in third.

My daughter kept nicking my laptop every time I put it down, reading what I’d written then pestering me endlessly to write the next bit. She was hooked and it was then I realised that maybe I was good at this and other people might like it too.

As the story progressed, I was surprised to find how connected I became to my two main characters, how inextricably linked we were and I shared their emotions; when they laughed, I laughed, when they cried, I cried too. They were part of me. So, when I had to take a three-month break to move house, Remy and Joshua (my two protagonists) were screaming at me on a daily basis to get back to writing. When I did, there was no stopping me and at precisely 1.40am on Tuesday 26^th October 2011, I finished typing the final sentence.

I sat there, stunned. I had done it – I’d completed my first novel! Then the euphoria hit. I punched the air and shouted “YES!!!” waking my daughter in the process (oops). I had a smile that wouldn’t quit for days afterwards and I felt like I was walking on fluffy white clouds. It was such an amazing feeling of accomplishment and, dammit, I was proud of myself! I was so hyped that night, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep for ages, but apart from posting my glorious news on Twitter and Facebook, I honestly can’t remember what else I did. Even though this was over a month ago and I’ve competed in NaNoWriMo since then (and won), the electric tingly buzz of pure joy hasn’t left me. The only time in my life I’ve ever felt joy of a similar magnitude, was the day I gave birth to my wonderful daughter!

I’m so happy and proud of my achievement, I would like to share a world exclusive with you, an excerpt from “Heart Search : Lost”. I hope you like it.

“His hiding place was perfect; darkness surrounded and comforted him and he became one with it. He had chosen well. The ancient ruins were totally hidden by overgrown shrubs and trees. From this place, he could venture out before dusk, completely obscured by the dense canopy of the ancient trees; the sun struggled to break through even at midday.

He was close, closer than ever before, so close that the flavour of the human’s essence coated his sensitive tongue. The one sought was nearby – he could sense him. He had searched for a very long time to find someone this special. Sure he’d found talent along the way, but this one, this human was something else entirely.

The excitement was building inside like a volcano preparing to erupt. His tongue ran over his teeth; venom pooled in his mouth and he savoured the flavour. There would be a new flavour to add to it soon. Very soon.

He first detected the scent two days ago. Unfortunately, an opportunity had not presented itself and he had become frustrated to the point of anger as strategy after strategy was thwarted by the most stupid and pointless of reasons. He was tenacious when there was something he desired and right now there was nothing he desired more than this human. There was a plentiful supply around to quench his thirst - that was not his aim.

His reverie was interrupted – a familiar scent wafted on the air that permeated the shelter. It was the human - the one he sought – and so near, too near to be allowed to escape again. Once more venom collected in his mouth.

He moved swiftly through the darkness with perfect vision towards the exit hidden amongst the foliage. The closer he got to the outside, the stronger the scent, and the more eager he became.

It was time.”

Now begins the long process of revising and editing, but to be honest, I’m not fazed by this at all. I know that my manuscript will become stronger, more polished and I can look at giving my characters even more depth. After all, if it wasn’t for Remy and Joshua taking up residence in my head and heart, this story might not have been written at all.

Now, don't forget to look for me at Carlie's blog!

Toys I Just Don't "Get"

2011-12-04T21:08:00.001-05:00

The coolest thing about having a 7 year old at Christmas is the toy stores. For me, the woman who never grew up, it's an excuse to go and check out all the new things to play with; I'm like that kid with his nose pressed up to the window in The Christmas Story.

But there are always some toys that make me wonder,

"What the heck were the inventors thinking?"

Usually they involve loads of batteries (the best toys don't need batteries, IMO) and only perform a few functions. After you run through the repertoire, what's left to do but allow the toy in question to gather dust?

Here are a few toys that I just don't get:

1. Little Miss Muffin Doll: Oh, sure, kids went nuts for LaLaLoopsy Dolls last year, but it doesn't mean that any rag doll with a large, plastic head will also be a success. These dolls wear a sort of mobcap, along the lines of Mrs. Beezley,* and they smell like muffins. Who needs a doll to smell like a baked good? Not I.

2. Baby Born Dance: It's a baby. It dances. Enough said.

3. Disney Fairies Water Dispenser: Here you are, little girl, a faucet! I know you'll love it because it has pictures of Fairies on it!

4. Kung Zhu Pets: Whoever made Zhu Zhu pets had a huge hit one year for girls with hamsters that rolled around and made different chirp sounds. Trying to recreate that success by selling fighting hamsters to boys wasn't such a great idea.

5. The Snoop Dogg Barbie Doll: Actually, I might really, really want to buy this one. Because Snoop is always cool, even when he guest stars in the Big Time Rush Christmas Special. And how can I resist the tagline: "12 inches of Snoop"?

*Remember that show, Family Affair? It came on every week day after I Dream of Genie, I believe. Or maybe F Troop. Watched it whenever I was home sick from school. Who's with me in Middle Aged Land?

Whassup???? And, Hugo Too

2011-12-02T13:46:00.000-05:00

Hello, Blogosphere!

I've been away for, well, most of the month of November. Here's why: I was a participant in NaNoWriMo, which stands for National Novel Writing Month. I and a gafrillion other people write 50,000 words each during November.

I'm back, and I missed you. Here's a present that I brought back from my mental travels:

What's inside? Cute kittens, sparkly baubles, a nose trimmer? You decide!

Moving on, I see that my own genre, Steampunk, took a hugestep in becoming main stream with the release of Hugo, the newest movie from Martin Scorsese. It's based on a novel by Brian Selznick, called "The Invention of Hugo Cabret."

Part graphic novel, part flipbook, and a story of Coincidences, puzzles, lost keys, and a mystery, it's the kind of story that appeals to, well, me. I love adventure, I love inventions and mysteries; always have, since I picked up "Spiderweb for Two" in first grade.

The movie itself is moving into pure steampunk. There are huge gears, clockworks, and a very important automaton. There are children and a toymaker and a race through Paris. There's a hidden message. What's not to like?

All of this is pure joy for a steampunker like me. Now, back to NaNoWriMo; while I worked on my new book, called The Gramophone Society, I abandoned steampunk for something new: Dieselpunk.

My new world is powered by diesel energy, since it is set during World War II during the London evacuations. I became fascinated by the tunnels built to hold people during air raids. They seemed like the perfect place for more adventure and mystery.

I wondered about the possibility of time travel. I didn't want to open a portal, so instead I imagined a set of stairs that usually went upstairs, and that suddenly led down instead: down to a set of mysterious tunnels and into the past.

As Hugo hangs off his huge clock hands like Harold Lloyd, my heroine, Julia, hung between the problems of her modern day world (eating disorders, divorce) and those of the past (displaced children and rationed food.) It was a manuscript that was a LOT of fun to write.

Enjoy Hugo now, and I do hope that you'll enjoy The Gramophone Society in the future...

Black Friday Giveaway; While You Are In Liine

2011-11-24T20:42:00.000-05:00

I've teamed up with the Sanction Chronicles to offer a Black Friday giveaway tomorrow. If you are in line with a smart phone, send out a tweet with this hashtag: #sanction_online or send a tweet to @@Sanction_YA

For each tweet you will get an entry. If you send a picture of yourself in line then you will receive five entries.

Time to start tweeting; because, why not?!

Tweets all day are eligible for a ten dollar Amazon gift card or a spa basket. As well, tweets during the day could win you the following books:

Rhys Bowen Mystery Giveaway

Print Copy of Royal Blood: A Royal Spyness Mystery

Penniless and thirty-fourth in line to the throne, Lady Georgiana Rannoch finds herself in a truly draining state of affairs. To escape her hateful brother, Georgie accepts an invitation from the Queen to represent the royals at a wedding in Transylvania. But at the macabre-looking castle, Georgie finds the bride with blood running down her chin, and a wedding guest is poisoned. Now it’s up to Georgie to save the nuptial festivities before the couple’s vows become “to love and to cherish, till ‘undeath’ do them part…”

Amazon Paperback * Audio

Barnes & Noble Paperback * Nookbook

Buy a Copy of ANY of Rhys Bowen’s Books and Get a FREE BOOK!

Enter? Send a Tweet @Rhysbowen #Sanction_YA

1pm-10pm EST On September 25th

Alison DeLuca’s The Night Watchman Express Giveaway

Each night, thirteen-year-old Miriam hears the eerie whistle of the Night Watchman Express.

The sound of the train gives her visions of an underground factory and a terrifying laboratory… Miriam has only her guardians’ son for company, and she and Simon dislike each other from the start. But they must find a way to trust each other, or they will end up on the sinister Night Watchman Express.

Enter? Send a Tweet @AlisonDeLuca #Sanction_YA

2-5pm EST On September 25th

Buy the Book – Amazon – Barnes and Noble — Email us and get a Free Book

FREE BOOK: With Purchase of Any Other Participating Authors Title

Fifteen-year old Alex Cronlord just met the boy of her dreams. Literally. Unfortunately, the dream involved him killing her. When she encounters him at her school the next morning, Alex understandably freaks out – and her mother’s bizarre behavior only makes it worse. What Alex doesn’t realize is that she can see the future – which will get her into a whole lot of trouble.

Across town, FBI Agent Moira McBain and her partner Andy Hall investigate a series of house burnings in Dallas, Texas. When a clue leads them to the Cronlords, Moira discovers a disturbing link between Alex’s family and her own – which opens an old wound Moira has spent years trying to ignore.

sanction

Just a Quick Cool Thing

2011-11-23T12:03:00.000-05:00

My friend, Anabell Martin, did the cool animated cover for me up there ^^^^. I'm pretty darn excited about it.

Anabell is also the author of Harbinger in the Mist, a ghost story set in a huge Southern house. It's like American Horror Story, with Ouija and a paranormal romance as well.

Personally, I have always loved a great ghost story, and hers made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

Plus, she's all creative and artistic and stuff!

Follow Up: Blog Tour de Troops

2011-11-21T10:09:00.000-05:00

Hello!

By this time you should have received your free ebooks. If you posted a comment during the Blog Trou from 11/11 - 11/14, and you did not yet get a book, please leave a comment here and I'll try again.

I hope you enjoy your ebooks as much as I enjoyed being part of the blog tour and sending them to you.

Time to Walk the Walk for Blog Tour de Troops!

2011-11-11T06:25:00.001-05:00

Hello, and welcome, Tour followers! I hope you enjoyed your stay at Sip n Share with Susan!

I blogged about my great uncle in the first world war, a few days ago. It was my way of introducing my participation in Blog Tour de Troops, run by the Indie Book Collective (more about the Tour later.) My column today, however, features my family and what happened to them in WWII, in England and Ireland.

My mother and father were kids then. Mum's family had just moved to Northern Ireland, so they were suddenly part of it and found that they had to endure rationing. My dad, though, probably had the worst of it. Along with other kids from London, he was put on a train with his sister, my aunt, and sent to the country, to get away from the terrible air raids at the time.

An evacuation worker writes a label to put on a small boy

Parents put their children on those trains, not knowing where the boys and girls would end up. Brothers and sisters were divided. The towns in the country that received them had no idea what they were getting into, either. One village that had been assigned twenty children ended up with over two hundred extra mouths to feed.

My father never talked about what happened to him during that stint in the country, and that silence is perhaps worse than knowing the truth.

It is in my parents' honor, then, as well as the men and women in uniform, that I join Blog Tour de Troops.

If you have been following the tour, you joined me here at Fresh Pot of Tea from Susan Salluce's blog, http://sipnsharewithsusan.com/ I do hope that you will continue on to Delphine Pontvieux's blog, http://missnyet.wordpress.com/. I love both of their blog names, by the way, and I can't wait to read what my fellow authors have written to celebrate the troops.

A word about the blog tour: Fifty authors are offering their books as free giveaways to anyone who comments on this and the other blogs.

In addition, every comment earns an ebook for a troop. Plus, each comment is an entry into a drawing for a free Kindle! So, how cool as that?

So, here is how you get your free ebook:

• Leave a comment below and share with us your connection to our military – is it you, a family member, a friend? Also please remember to include your email, or I can’t send you a free book!

• Do you have a specific soldier in mind to receive my book? Let me know! Leave their info below in your comment.

Here's where I get annoyingly redundant: Don't forget your contact info when you comment! Because otherwise I can't find you and give you a free book!

• If you just want us to designate a soldier, we are on it.

• It may take me a day or so to get through the comments and respond to you with the free ebook. Oh, I know you want the books and I want to give it to you! But I hope to have loads of responses (since each response sends a free book to a soldier, and all) and so it might take a bit to catch up.

• As authors, we’d ALL really appreciate a review on Amazon after you read our free books. Because that would just be so great.

Please help me to support the troops by sharing this post on Twitter, Facebook, Google Plus, or your own blog. You would be the coolest person ever if you did that.

Now, don't forget to mosey on over to Miss Nyet for more Tour, and more books...

Amador Lockdown and Thrown Out: Stories from Exeter

2011-11-10T09:53:00.000-05:00

Amador Lockdown is a horror story which starts, naturally enough, in a cemetery. There the cliche ends. As the Paranormal Posse is shown around the graveyard, a black shadow flits by Hector, one of the group. The chapter ends with an unknown voice; in fact, that voice punctuates some of the chapters. It quotes a dark force: "I am the power 333 of the 10 ether. I am a black hole. I destroy understanding. I sow confusion. I have set my feet in the earth."

At this point I knew I was not reading a run of the mill horror story. For one thing, Russell puts in lovely details that make the characters come alive. At the graveyard, for example, "Hector took off his black cowboy hat, and slapped at the sand on his knee." It's a lovely real touch that stops the conventional action and makes the reader care about the characters.

The real plot begins, however, when the Paranormal Posse is called in to investigate events at the Amador Hotel in Las Cruces. The location and characters are described with a sure touch, and as the horror increases throughout the book, with events at a quinceanera, a movie theater, and int the actual hotel, I could not stop reading the gripping story.

Thrown Out: Stories from Exeter is a different sort of book, from the other side of the country. It is a collection of stories all set in Exeter, Massachusetts. Coughlin is fascinated by historical research, and it shows in her work. She is able to give fascinating descriptions about the area, such as the background of Irish mafia gangs, in Bones of the Past, in which Ellie discovers some of the nastier secrets of her town.

End Run and Delicate Dance are extremely well written stories, but it was the title story in the collection that I loved the most.

In Thrown Out, the author investigates the gay relationship between Chris and Dan, and the problems that the love affair brings with it off campus. The crisis comes during a softball game, which Coughlin describes so perfectly that you feel you are on the bleachers, watching it.

Obviously, the author knows her stuff. More importantly, she knows how to communicate it.

Retro Halloween

2011-10-31T14:11:00.001-04:00

Note: Today's blog was powered by fun-sized Almond Joy bars.

Ever seen that Catching Fireflies catalog? If you have far too much discretionary income, do check out their Halloween costumes. Here is my favorite:

Quite a bit different from the costumes I used to get. My mom would take my sister and me to the grocery store, where we had to decide between Spock:

and WitchiePoo:

Note name on costume: only way to tell who the hell you dressed up as

The masks for Spock, Witchiepoo, Strawberry Shortcake, Thor, Fonzie, Skeletor, etc. had little nostril holes to breathe through. Yeah, those didn't work.

At least there weren't any Snooki wigs back then:

Nowadays, you can decorate your house with full sized electric chairs.

Quite different from our big 1970's splurge - cardboard cut outs, which we installed with fancy sticky tape:

You know some smarty pants wanted to add, "WHOO'S ready for Halloween?"

You know what though? I pity modern kids. For us, trick-or-treating didn't start until after dark. the moon was up, bats were flying, and things were much more Halloween-ish in general. Now they go door to door in broad daylight. I understand it's all much safer, but where's the fun in that?

If you are looking for some retro fun for your kids, read them The Witch Family, by Eleanor Estes. There are witches, obviously, as well as mermaids, Easter bunnies, and a few humans. Good stuff.

This cover just screams retro. Find it and enjoy this undervalued gem!

A True Kind of Love Story; Or, An Ode to Friendship

2011-10-28T14:22:00.000-04:00

There are loads of romance novels out there, and I have enjoyed quite a few of them. Georgette Heyer, for example, is a goddess to me. A well written romance, especially if it includes humor and some nice historical touches, is a delight. I'm talking a rainy day outside, a fire within, me, the couch, and a pot of tea... and a book in my hands.

Nurse Gwen must choose between Dr. Jack or a man about town!!!!!!!!

As a woman, I find romance very important. But there is a different kind of love that is also important, nay, vital to my happiness. I mean the relationship that I have with my girlfriends, the ones I chat with on the phone, the ones who are there to hear me vent, the ones who used to listen to me sob over the end of some great romance in my life.

There are some stories out there about friendships. During the seventies, the move Julia told the story of Lilliam Helmaann's friendship during the second world war. The Turning Point looked at the friendship between two ballerinas.

In the nineties there was that great love story about two friends, The Shawshank Redemption, but naturally that was about male friendship. I'd love to see a female version of that.

I wish there were more stories like this. Friendship is sometimes seen as a background. You have the sassy friend, the supportive friend, the rebellious friend, the bitchy friend, and they're usually there to help the main character through a mystery or a love affair.

But how about the development of the actual friendship itself?

Friendships sometimes grow, like romances, over time. Friends bump heads. We quarrel, and make up. We chat. We go out. We are there for each other, no matter what.

I wish, as an author, that I had the creds to detail that relationship. The story and the importance of friends, after all, is a special thing, and it is a bit neglected.

Anyone out there writing anything about pure friendship?

Crowds and the Walking Dead

2011-10-26T16:58:00.000-04:00

My husband wanted to go to the amusement park, which is right down the street. I had warnings from the local moms that it was a very busy time of the year to hit the rides. He didn't listen, holding his usual philosophy of "Oh, it'll be fine."

The reason for the crowds is that it is officially Fright Fest here in New Jersey. That means that as you wait in line for hours to go on a two minute ride, teens in ghoul makeup lurk, ready to terrify kids. The kids themselves (my daughter and her friend) are more than ready to be terrified.

"It's Fright Fest," I say.

"YAYYYYY!!!!!" is their response. "Can we walk through the graveyard?"

I tell them we can, after we get on the ride. An hour passes. We wait in line, and wait, and wait, and wait. The husband begins to see my point about Fright Fest.

The kids begin to get squirelly. They find different ways of endangering themselves on the bars that mark where the line goes. My husband and I chat with the people next to us in line, mainly about how much it stinks to wait in a line.

We finally, finally get to ride the ride. As we get into the car, one of the kids announces ... yes, that they have to pee. I tell them to hold it and we go through the ride.

We head to the bathroom. Shocker! Another line. More waiting, more chat about how lines suck.

Now it's time to head to the graveyard. The kids are really excited. As we get closer, though, my kid's friend starts to look thoughtful. She holds my hand in a killer death grip.

"Are you sure you want to go in?" I ask.

"Yeah!" they both yell.

We enter the graveyard, with the usual fake smog, organ music, and the walking dead (teens in green makeup.)

"Ouch," I say. The friend's grip is cutting off circulation.

The graveyard is packed too. Everyone wants to see the walking dead! I look around. More parents, whose hands are getting crushed by more kids who stood in line to see the graveyard.

Back to the car, parents singing a happy "We Are Going Home" tune. We wait in line to leave the park, having ridden on one ride, peed, and been crushed in a graveyard.

The kids fall asleep on the way home.

Halloween Candy

2011-10-21T16:52:00.000-04:00

It's that time again. I have to go and get huge sacks of candy to hand out to kids in Monster High and Clone Wars costumes.

One year my husband handed out FULL SIZE candy bars. It was as though we had Johnny Depp, dressed as a pirate, standing at the door. Kids told other kids, and soon we had a mob scene.

"Here, kids, have a treat, and don't forget to pick up the litter afterwards."

I can't blame them, though. I still remember the feeling I got when a parent popped a full sized Hershey bar into my bag.

Then there's the bad Halloween candy. I'm talking to you, peanut "blossoms," Dots, boxes of raisins, pennies...

Not a fan.

Again: Full sized Hershey's Bar!

When I was a kid (a LONG time ago) I used to get candy at Halloween that never appeared at any other time during the year. I'm talking wax lips and strips of sugar dots you gnawed off paper and rock candy. That was good stuff.

What do you DO with these things?

Those were the years before the warnings against homemade treats came out. Home made popcorn balls, fudge, and caramel apples... they just don't make them like that any more...

...but there is still that full size Hersey bar.

My Gaming Confession

2011-10-19T19:44:00.000-04:00

Yes, I'm a gamer.

No, I don't play World of Warcraft (although I am intrigued) nor any game that involves shooting. No, I am one of a growing population of "and something" women who play contemplative games, usually on the web.

Will I start to look like this if I play it?

I've noticed that there is a certain pattern to games. There is the Match Three type, like Bejeweled, in which you try and line up three or more similar objects. There is the Hidden Object type, in which you and find things in pictures, usually within an adventure backstory: beautiful archeologist sets off to find magical icon, beautiful doctor must rescue father from the asylum... etc etc.

Never looked for so many "honey dippers" in my life.

If you like a bit of madness, then there is the crazy Time Management type of game, in which you have to make the cakes, or feed the people in the diner, or weed the garden, and the trials become more and more difficult along the way. I'm not very good at those - I'm FAR too uncoordinated.

This is my life anyway, so - not so much.

Within that genre there are the construction games, in which the object is to build a hut, then buy plans for a cottage, then a manor house, working your way up to a castle. My Kingdom for the Princess is a good example of that type.

There are arcade games, where you have to shoot at different things like aliens or zombies. Not a fan.

My favorite games, however, are those that break the mold a bit. One prime example is the games by Last Day of Work, such as Plant Tycoon or the Virtual Villagers trilogy. In the LDW games, time moves slowly as you raise plants, crossbreed them to discover magic plants, and sell them for funds to improve your nursery.

If you're looking for a zen-like state in your gaming experience.

Or you teach villagers skills and wait for them to build temples or schools or learn how to fish

Oh, come ON! How fun!

.
Virtual games are best played for fifteen minutes at a time - perfect for a crazy woman like me who has no time to be doing that in the first place.

I'm dreadfully afraid of when it actually is my "Last Day of Work." For, you see, then I might get sucked into that World of Warcraft, and then I would never reemerge.

The Wish and the Will

2011-10-17T10:22:00.000-04:00

"In the solitary City of Middengarth, where fairytales and folklore are history, and magic still lingers in the air, strange things are afoot..."

I love contests.

Recently I entered a contest at We Fancy Books and won a fantastic prize - three episodes of a continuing graphic fiction series called The Wish and the Will, by Chaz Wood.

To read this series is like opening a door into a lively, bawdy, frightening, beautiful world. The sinister and eccentric Daemonlords, led by the insane Jester King Paimon, rule the inhabitants with ever-increasing firmness. The great City Clock stands still at one stroke before midnight, and the whispers on the street are that soon the Clock shall strike - to signify an event of world-shaking proportions.

When down-on-his-luck gambler Jeth Sundancer reluctantly agrees to perpetrate the 'biggest-ever bank job', the brainchild of the appealing but mysterious Claudia, he soon wishes he had stayed among the anonymous outcasts in Middengarth's City Warrens...

Wood has built a complete universe of characters and plot, but there is far more than that.

He has created an entire system of time, a magical government, a Blimey Almanac (which is quoted throughout the episodes) as well as lovely illustrations throughout of the large cast of characters in the series.

The title is explained here, in the Blimey Almanac:

“Once upon a time, there was magic in the world, and legends and fairy stories were all true. Two great and opposing forces of nature, called the Wish and the Will, battled with each other for untold aeons. And in so doing they created a third and neutral power, which became known as the Fury, and the whole fabric of the world and the universe changed.
But you ain't got no need to know any of that. What you do need to know, me old pal, is that you're now in the City o' Middengarth. Or Old Mid as it is referred to inside this sprawling metropoliwhatsit thing of ours. And if you want any chance of keepin' yourself alive from this ticky-tock o' the clock onwards, and not getting up the noses of their Daemonic Majesties who rule us all, then you'll read everything what I have to tell you, okay?”

- from the preface to the 57th edition of 'Arry the Vagabond's “Blimey Almanack: a Personal Companion to the Streets, Gutters, Public Latrines, etc. etc. of the City of Old Mid."

Episode 2

Intrigued?

Look at some of the characters from Episode 3:

Mr. Jeth Sundancer, An unfortunate gambling man

Engineer Loxxibana Flauccivana, A riverboat engineer

Mr. Nunsuch Pryde, A gambling man's gambling man

Dan, a Lavatory Maintenance Engineer

Smike the Boss, A Grotmonger Captain

Episode 3

Chaz is also the author of Maranatha, part of the Trinity Chronicles. That book, along with its prequel, Venus in Saturn, explore the possibility of finding the actual DNA of Jesus. In order to publish those books, Wolf founded FenrisWulf Books in 2008, a publishing site with several contributors. One is Frang McHardy, the author of 'The Sword of Lochglen', a weird historical Scottish fantasy.

I wanted to showcase how well the world in the WatW has been developed by quoting the system of time in the book:

The following ready reckoners ought to be memorized to prevent embarrassing lateness at social functions, or unexpected termination of employment:
Season = equivalent to a year
Tithe = equivalent to a month
Click = equivalent to a day
Tick = equivalent to an hour, hence Half-tick = half an hour, quarter-tick = quarter hour, &c.
Tock = equivalent to a minute
Hick = equivalent to a second
Titch = a moment, or otherwise, any very short period of time
...
Got that? Of course you have. Some few have dared to suggest that the nomenclature of Middengarth's time periods has been designed to be as confusing as possible. Such individuals are clearly of very low natural intelligence ...

Voyage to Ireland

2011-10-11T20:53:00.002-04:00

My mother used to take my sister and me to Ireland every summer for a month or so. For us, it was a shining time in the middle of a long vacation. For her, it was a chance to see her parents, to see her aunts and cousins and college friends.

The trips tailed off, although my sister and I still go from time to time. I brought my husband, then my fiance, so he could meet the auld ones and see the country I adored. We brought our daughter when she was four.

We just returned from another voyage. This time my sister and I brought our mother, except she wouldn't be visiting cousins or friends, nor anyone else for that matter, ever again. It was, for her, the last voyage.

Our first stop was to Dean's Grange, where we buried her with her parents in a quiet corner near the wall. Next we went to the Avoca Weavers for lunch, and if you ever are in Dublin, do make certain that you have a meal there. The food is organic, and it is sublime. We had duck breast salad, white wine, and a miraculous dessert called "Eton Mess." (There is meringue and whipped cream and fresh raspberries involved, and it is nearly a religious experience.)

Eton Mess. Ours was bigger and messier and more delicious, I'll bet.

After that we drove on to Glendalough in Wicklow, where St. Kevin won sainthood by casting the woman who tempted him into the lake. You can read more about that episode here, in the form of poetry.

St. Kevin's church, Glendalough

Our mother took us to Glendalough many times, and it seemed the perfect place to scatter a few of her ashes. Of course we hadn't taken the wind into account, and we didn't want to get mom blown back in our faces. We carefully faced away from the lake and the wind, and her dear body now is comingled with that glory.

The next day we had a service in a wee church known as St. Nahi's. If you sneeze you'd miss it, and too bad if you do, because there are tapestries down by the Yeats sisters there, as well as a font that baptized the Duke of Wellington and Robert Emmett.

Then on to St. Helens', now the part of the Radissson BLU, and they gave us the most wonderful lunch overlooking their lovely gardens. The sun, for a wonder, came out and the children ran about in the hedgerows and mazes. We drank wine and tea and ate chicken and stuffing sandwiches. We chatted and laughed and wept, under a bright blue sky streaked with long clouds.

The rest of our trip was spent at tea and supper with cousins and aunts, much like our mother would have done. My daughter loved it. When we drove to the airport our last morning, she begged and begged me for "just one more day." Exactly as I used to do, forty years earlier.

SQUEEEE!

2011-10-05T16:26:00.000-04:00

A few weeks back there was a bit of passionate debate between the good folks at Fantasy Island Book Publishing about the exclamation, "SQUEEEEE!" I won't name names, but it was all started by a certain author who wrote a certain book and blogs at a certain blogspot.*

The problem, this author said, is that "Squee!" while descriptive, is not very manly. Now, if you don't know what Squee! means, it's what emotional people say when they get a really nice surprise. For authors, it's what some of us (females) say when we see our names in print for the first time.

SQUEEEEEE!

Usually, when you say it, you wave your hands around and giggle and jump up and down. I'll admit that those actions, put together, aren't very manly.

What they are saying = essence of squee

Still, men must want to show their appreciation of a fine, unexpected event sometimes, right? Is there an alternative?

Well, of course there is the socially accepted "SuhWEET!" It can be said in just as high pitched** a squeal, but it's usually followed by a punch on another guy's flexed bicep and a shot of Jack.

The thing about Squeeee! though, is that it's new. It's fresh. It's exciting. SuhWEET, however, is played, fellows.

Can't you come up with something else?

Can't you growl, "SQUOAH, dude," and fist each other in the 'nads? And go pee on a stump to prove your manliness?

In any case, if there is a fella out there who has accepted the Squee! then that guy is totally secure in his testosterone level, and Fresh Pot of Squee, I mean Tea, is so down with that.

*Oh, he is a really great author too.
**My hyphen key doesn't work. Whatup wit that, laptop gods?

My New Admin

2011-10-04T18:00:00.001-04:00

My new admin is fantastic. Sure, I used to have piles of papers, files, kids' drawings, bonus cards for grocery stores, credit card apps, and stuff that just was Too Cool to Throw Out but I Didn't Know What to Do Withall over my desk and office.

Phone calls went unreturned. Menus weren't planned. Gifts weren't bought, thank yous went unwritten.

All that changed when I got my wonderful admin. My admin tells me what is coming up every day on my calendar. The office is now neat and organized. Correspondence is sorted into several piles, so that which must be done gets done. That very day.

There certainly aren't any more coffee cups with cold coffee in them at my desk anymore.

This is what my office looked like, pre admin:

And post admin:

Did I mention my admin looks like this?

(Disclaimer: This entire post is fiction, except for the representational pre admin desk picture.)

Steamy Hair

2011-10-02T19:42:00.000-04:00

I write steampunk books for kids. In the book I have out now, my heroine, Miriam has black curly hair. And n the book I just edited, an amazing fantasy called The Time Weaver, there is a warrior called Malia who has long, curly blond hair.

That got me thinking about hairstyles in fantasy and steampunk books. Women in fantasy have hair like this:

Oh yeah. Pure fantasy.

or this:

I can just see her as the queen of an alien planet.

or you can have the steampunk lady, like this:

Steamy!

And let's not forget the gentlemen:

The name's Galgadir. James Galgadir.

And we cannot forget:

Yup.

I just notice that no one in fantasy has a shag, or one of those hair helmets, thus:

So, why can't Madge go on a quest for a ring that in the Darkness Binds Them? Eh?

I don't see why not, since she looked pretty fantastical getting that way:

Just look at the caption, above. Nuff said.